Love Confusing as Hell

Sunday came around and it was typical day in the Anderson household. Quiet and a lazy day. It was getting much colder out now as it was getting into the colder months and Thanksgiving was just around the corner. They all hated to see the pool cover on the pool with the fall leaves just lying on it because that was a sure sign the snow was coming shortly.

“But Mommy I want to go outside and play!” Jimmy yelled.

“Not right now Honey I have a headache. When Uncle Sean or Uncle Chickie gets up ok?” she told him hoping that he could understand her pain. Her father saw that she was having trouble with him so he walked over to them.

“He wants to go outside huh?” he asked her.

“Yeah but I just can’t right now Daddy. My head is going to explode. I just need for my meds to kick in or one of the boys to get up.” She told her Dad.

“Well tell you what Jimmy how about I take you out for a while would you like that?” he asked his grandson.

“That woud be great Grampie. I go get my coat.” He told him and ran to go get it.

“Daddy you don’t have to too really.” She started to say.

“No really I’d love to, me and my boy. You just try and get some sleep while we’re out and I’ll try and tire him out if he doesn’t tire me out first ok.” Paul chuckled.

“Ok Daddy thanks.” She said as she laid her head back down on the couch. Ellie had fallen asleep for a few hours and when she woke up her parents told her that Jimmy was down for the count. When he came back in with Grandpa he played for a little more with his Uncles and then was starting to drift off so Auntie Beth put him down for his nap. Her Mom also told her that Jon had called her too but she didn’t want to wake her and Jon also said not to wake you either but to call him later. She took the phone and dialed the number that Mom had written down. It rang several times before the front desk picked it up. She left a message with them to have him call her when he got in. She went to take her pain meds and there were only a few left so she went to the pharmacy to get some more and within fifteen minutes later Jon called back asking for her. Cecelia told him what she was doing and he told her that he would be in for a while so to call him back.

Jimmy had gotten up now and was looking for his Mom as Ellie walked in. “Mommy! Mommy!” he yelled and ran to her.

“Hey little man what’s up? Did you have a good nap?” she asked him as he nodded his head yes. “Well good. Ok then you go play and I’ll be there in a few minutes…Here Mom I got your milk.” She said as she put the milk in the frig.

“Thanks Honey oh by the way Jon called you back he said he’ll be in for a little while if you want to try him again.” Her Mom told her.

“Thanks.” Ellie went to check on Jimmy and did what she had to do before she sat on the end of the stairs waiting for Jon to pick up the phone. She had brought her pillow with her just in case this was going to be one of those calls that was going to last more than fifteen minutes because that’s all she could do to keep her head up.

Just when she thought the desk was going to pick it up again his whiskey silky voice came over the phone. “Hello?” he said tiredly.

“Hi Jon is that you?” she asked him even thou she knew it was.

“Ellie yeah it’s me sorry my voice does sound like shit. I need to get a better handle on it.” He told her.

“Why don’t you just get a voice coach? Don't they teach you how to take care of your voice?” she asked him concerned.

“Um yeah they do but I’m ok really don’t worry. Look the reason why I’m calling is…” he was trying to say.

“Jon I know the reason why you’re calling it’s because you want an answer to that question and I really don’t have an answer for you.” She told him still anxious.

“I know and it’s ok really because I told our manager and well he had a fit about you and Jimmy coming on tour with us. You didn’t give your notice yet did you?” he asked her holding his breath.

“Well no I haven’t. Huh he doesn’t want us on tour why would we cramp your style or something?” she asked him even thou she was relieved.

“Well yeah something like that. He thinks that having my girlfriend and my out of wedlock son with me on tour would be sending the wrong message so to speak.” He told her trying to be as tactful as possible.

“No no I get it really he doesn’t want your whore of a girlfriend and your bastard son with you no problem Jon. I told you I didn’t want to go anyway. I want to keep Jimmy in a safe and secure place.” She responded angrily.

“Ellie please don’t be like that. You know that I and the guys don’t think like that. He just wants the girls to think I’m available he doesn’t want me to date anybody on a regular basis.” He explained to her.

“Oh how nice so he doesn’t want any of you to a have a life sweet man.” She said to him back. “Look Jon it’s ok I knew you were blowing things way out because you never discussed them with your crew. I mean I wouldn’t want a girlfriend plus a kid touring when it’s just been you guys for how long? Just tell them no hard feelings ok. And just go live your life while I live mine.” She told him and she let him off the hook so he didn’t have to feel bad about doing it for her.

Jon was kind of in shock at what she just said. Did she just break things off with me? “Ellie did you just break things off with me” he asked her confused.

“Jon come on your on the road and I’m home it’s going to be hard enough to keep a relationship going long distance. Plus you have these beautiful girls throwing themselves at you left and right. Are you going to tell me that you’re going to stay true to me? Why don’t we just call it what it is and stay as friends ok?” she told him trying not to cry or get upset on the phone with him.

Jon didn’t know what to do. He felt like she was pushing him away. “Ellie this isn’t what I want. Your reading more into this than you should. You can still come out and visit me on the road and even bring Jimmy from time to time. Look I need your bank account numbers so I can put some money in there for you to live on I owe you that and when you want to come out it will be there to use. And you can still leave your job and just take care of Jimmy and come see me whenever you want.” He told her as he waited for her answer.

“What? You want to pay me to stay home so you can call me at your whim to come to you. I don’t think so Jon.” She told him out right.

“That’s not what I meant. I thought you would want to come and see me. Plus this way you don’t have to get permission from anybody at work to take any time off. You’ll be your own person. I thought you would like that.” He told her hoping she would understand his reasoning.

“I’m sorry Jon it’s just that it sounded like you wanted us not to be there that’s all. Which is fine because I’m not too jazzed to come on tour with you to tell you the truth. I still don’t think it’s appropriate for a five year old boy to be surrounded by a bunch of rockers chasing a bunch of whores. I’m sorry.” She told him truthfully.

“Yeah I guessed that. What about you visiting me are you ok with that?” he asked her hopefully.

“Yeah I can do that if I’m the only one you really want Jon. I’ve been hurt too many times before and I don’t want to be again if this is just for fun with you. I swore to myself the next time I do this would be forever not just for kicks Jon. So I’m going to let you think this over and let me know. If you want me and Jimmy for your future then I’m in. If not then don’t call me back ok? I mean it’s not like your name is on the birth certificate so you are free. Bye.” And she hung up the phone. 

Jon just stared at the phone in his hand for a minute then threw it. WOMEN! He thought. He couldn’t believe she hung up on him. Just then Richie stuck his head in the door. “Hey what’s with all the noise Kidd we can hear it all the down by Dave’s room.” Richie asked him. 

“It’s Ellie she hung up the God damn phone on me.” Jon told him as he animatedly threw his arms around telling him why she didn’t want to come on tour with him and how she got offended when he told her how Doc didn’t want them here either. Richie just watched him go back and forth which was kind of comical to him because he never saw Jon this rattled before especially over a girl.

“Jon slowdown will you. Look you’re asking her to change her whole life at the drop of the hat for what? Nothing. It’s not like your offering her anything right? And she may not be up for that either but hey does she still know that you want to see her as your girlfriend or just as a friend?” he asked Jon.

Jon looked at him then closed his eyes as he sat down on the nearest chair. “God Rich I don’t know. This was thrown on me too you know. One minute I’m just this twenty-three year old kid having the time of my life and now I’m this father I’m somebody’s father Rich. I don’t know if I can do this.” he told his buddy.

Richie looked at him and smiled. “Yeah Jon you can. You can do this because you’re that kind of guy. But you have to ask yourself one thing do you love her? Do you still love her like you did back then?”

Jon looked at Richie and knew in his heart what the answer was. “Yeah Rich I do. I still love her the way I did when I first saw her back in Sayreville.”

“Well then man there’s your answer. Go get her.” Richie said smiling.

**********************************************************************

 A few days had gone by and Ellie hadn’t heard anything from Jon which was fine by her. She felt he made himself very clear and she wasn’t going to let him dictate how she was going to live her life. So she went on doing what she normally did and tried to forget him. She had just put Jimmy down and she was crocheting as Sean was watching MTV when they were playing some new bands and all of a sudden they played Runaway. “Hey Ellie oh my God look quick it’s Jon and look what they are wearing.” Sean said as she quickly looked up from what she was doing. She was shocked as she saw the guys in what she could only see as ripped shirts and God only knows what type of pants they were wearing as they were so tight on them it left little to the imagination. She sat there giggling thru the whole song even thou she liked it but the video was just too funny.

“Oh my God Sean were they wearing make-up?” she asked her brother.

“Yeah I think so Sis. And I think he had on black nail polish. And what was with their outfits?” he asked his sister.

“Oh God I have no idea. But the facial expression those were priceless. All I know if I was doing that video that wouldn’t be the theme I would have used. I think they were all high when they agreed to do that. And he wonders why I won’t take Jimmy on tour with him. Bozo.” She said as she went back to her crocheting. Sean laughed and went back doing his homework and listening to the t.v.

Later that evening Chick and Beth had joined them and Alan Hunter was now MC’ing the show and he was now introducing  the new up and coming acts and with their new album and song In and Out of Love came on and this time they were dressed much differently. The hat killed her but the girls didn’t as he ran after them in the video. “Well isn’t nice being a rock star huh Sis?” Chick asked his sister.

“Oh shut up will you!” she told him as she got up and left the den. The other siblings just looked at each other and shrugged as Ellie left. Once upstairs and in her bedroom she looked at her son sleeping and she smiled. Not a day goes by that she doesn’t regret having him. She really thought that Jon would have called her by now but she guessed he made up his mind and chose the easy way out. Well she figured they made it this far together and that they can make it all the way together.

Morning came and she was getting ready to go to work as the others were ready to leave for school. She put Jimmy in with her Mom so they could get a little more sleep and she could get out the door. The day was moving fast in her book and as lunch hit she was in the employee lounge eating when the news came on about a blurb on an impromptu show that was played in New York last night with Bruce Springsteen, Tom Petty, Bon Jovi, and Aldo Nova. The news team caught some of them coming out of the night club so as she was watching she saw Jon arm in arm with this blonde bombshell coming out of the door and kissing her as they were coming out. Ellie nearly choked on her sandwich as she saw this but really couldn’t look away. She hurried with lunch and got back to her department as she finished the day as best she could. Once she got home her Mom told her that Jon had left a message for her to call her when she got home.

“Really? He did well I’ll call him back when I feel like it and I really don’t feel like it right now. Where’s my baby anyway?” she her Mom.

“Oh Chick and Beth took him down the mall they needed to get some things and took Jimmy with them I hope that was ok?” she asked her daughter.

“Yeah that’s fine look I’m going to take advantage of the quiet and go lay down ok?” she told her Mom and went into the den.

Paul came up from the basement, “Ellie home yet?” he asked his wife.

“Yes she went to lie down in the den while it’s quiet.” She said as she went back to getting the dinner ready.

“Well she better do it now before the troops come home.” Paul chuckled.

Everything was going fine after dinner as Paul was getting ready for bed the phone rang and he answered it. “Hello? Oh yes she is just a minute it. ELLIE PHONE!” he yelled to her.

“Who is it Daddy!” she yelled back even thou she had an idea who.

“It’s Jon and come get the phone I’m going to bed.” He told her as he walked off.

Ellie dragged her feet to the phone because she so didn’t want to have this conversation at least not right now. Picking up the phone, “Hello?”

“Hey Baby how’s everything going?” he asked her happily and without knowing what was going on.  

“Everything here’s fine how’s everything with you?” she asked him back.

“Great our album just went platinum so we went out last night to celebrate.” He told her happily.

“Well isn’t that nice.” she said as best she could.

“Hey are you sure your all right you don’t sound that great.” He asked her concerned.

“No I’m just peachy Jon” she told him trying to keep her composure.

“Did I do something wrong? I mean I know I haven’t called in a while but I thought you understood that right?” he asked her worried.

“I’m tired Jon, tired of all the bullshit. Look tell me how did last night go. Did you have fun?”
 she asked him. Jon went on and told her everything that happened with the concert and the guys and how everyone had a great time playing on stage and just had a blast. They also partied afterward at the hotel bar for a while until they got kicked out. Finally she asked him, “So who did you go with?”

“The guys and Bruce and Aldo and Tom they were all there too.” He told her.

“That’s nice Jon but I didn’t mean them I meant of the female persuasion. Who was your date.” She asked him outright.

“Huh? I didn’t have a date Babe I went solo. Why would you think I had a date when I’m seeing you? I thought we went over this.” he said to her a little confused.

“No we did go over this that’s why I’m asking you this. So you didn’t go with anyone so you say didn’t cling to or hang on to or kiss anyone in public last night?” she asked him again.

Thinking before he answered her now he was with Lita Ford and hanging with her and he was all over her last night but he didn’t think anyone caught it on tape. He does remember having a make out session with her inside but there were no camera’s allowed so how could she have found out. Finally he just thought he’d take the hit and ask her about it. “Ellie I was drinking a lot last night so I really don’t remember a lot that I was doing. You want to help me out here.” He asked her and held his breath.

“Oh sure I’d be glad to. You were coming out of the club with this blonde bombshell and she was hanging off you and you both were glued to each other by the lips. So I hope you two enjoyed each other because you’re not going to get it from me again.” She told him in a very cold tone.

“Wait Ellie please it was just for show really it didn’t mean anything.” he yelled into the phone.  

“Oh yeah right that didn’t look like it didn’t mean something Jon what do you think I’m stupid. Look you want your cake and eat it too well I got news for you pal no freaking way. You really changed Jon from that boy I met to this rock star I’m sorry I can’t be with this person Jon who lies to me.” She told him sadly.

“But Ellie please at least give me a chance we haven’t had a chance to even try this. We weren’t dating right now so technically I wasn’t doing anything wrong Ellie. But as soon as you give me the word I will be the perfect boyfriend I promise.” He told her hoping she would come around.

Thinking she asked him this, “Who was the girl Jon?”

Sighing he said, “It was Lita Ford.”

“Of Vixen?” she asked him.

“Yeah you’ve heard of her?” he asked thou he was surprised that she did.

“Yeah news does travel here in the backwoods. Jon I am up on most of the latest music so don’t be so surprised. And I guess you’re right I haven ‘t really given you a fair shake have I?” she asked him.

“No you haven’t I mean talk about me earning brownie points on just to get you to go out with me it’s like pulling teeth. Look Babe I’m not going to say it’s going to be easy but if we love each other then we can do this I know we can. And I’m not going to tell you it will be easy but I’ll do my damnedest to stay loyal to you. So now do me a favor and schedule yourself off for a three or four day weekends will you and come see me you can do that right?” he asked her hoping.

“Well I’ll have to know your schedule first so I can schedule myself off. Can you give me an advance look at it?” she asked him.

“Well I guess I could if you’re a good little girl that is?” he told her in a deep whiskey voice that sent chills thru her.

“Oh really I have to be a good little girl well what about you pal? Besides I thought you liked bad girls?” she asked him sighing.   

“Well I thought I’d be the bad boy that turns the good girl bad.” He told her chuckling.

“Well I think you already did that. Just mail me your list so I can get everything straight ok and I’ll do what I can. So what, we start now. I can say you’re my boyfriend.” She asked him smiling.

“Sure in fact you can tell those whatever you call them down at that store of yours that you are taken got it! Your mine and nobody else’s.” he told her getting very territorial.

“Oh oh oh now that were dating do you want me to wear something that says I’m Jon Bon Jovi’s woman?” she asked him sarcastically?

“Oh very funny could you?” he shot back.

“Hey don’t get your panties in a twist Babe ok I’m only joking with you. Believe me though when I tell you that I will be telling a few people there that I am seeing the most handsomest man there is and he just happens to be the father of my son. I can say that can’t I?” she asked him not sure if she could.

“I don’t see why not. I am. Hey Babe there’s someone at my door so I have to go I love you and I’ll get that out to you soon. Give Jimmy kisses for me.” He told her.

“I will and I love you too. Talk to you later Jon Bye.” She hung up the phone and for the first time in a long time she felt like her heart was doing flip flops. She just hoped this wasn’t going to bite her in the ass.
              ********************************************************************** 

    Jon hung up and was smiling from ear to ear. He finally felt everything was coming together.  He went to answer the door. It was Richie. “Hey Kidd what’s up?” he asked his brother in arms.

“Rich I think finally everything may be coming together. Ellie agreed to be my girlfriend and trust me enough to be with me. You don’t know what that means to me man. I finally have her back. I have my family.” Jon told Richie as Richie walked up to him and gave Jon a hug.

“God Jon that’s great. God you’re a Dad man. That’s awesome. Well we need to celebrate let’s get the rest of the guys and have a few and toast the new Dad what do you say?” Richie asked him as he picked up the phone and called the rest of the guys.

   

Scars

They had taken their time with each other re-exploring each other’s bodies when he came across something that put his stomach in knots. He didn’t want to show her his reaction to it because he didn’t want to break this magical night that they were having but he was going to ask her in the morning about these rough patches he feels on her back and butt. He sure as hell doesn’t remember that on her the last time that they had made love. They continued on and off all night showing each other how much they missed each other when finally they drifted off to sleep either from exhaustion or ecstasy or both as neither one could really pin point how they were feeling right now.

The telephone rang five hours later which for Jon it was nine a.m. He wanted to get up a little earlier than the others but forgot that he was going to see Ellie the previous night.

“What was that about?” she asked him still half asleep.

“Sorry it woke you. It was my wake up call I wanted to get up before the others because I have a few things I wanted to do. But now screw it. You’re on my list for this afternoon now so since you’re up I’ll just...” He said running his hands over her stomach.

“No no no if you have work to do you better do it. Oh God what time is it?” she sat up straight.

“It’s past nine Babe why?” he told her looking at her concerned.

“I’m supposed to be at work!” she told him all upset.

“So call in. That way you can stay with me the whole day. I’m sure your Mom won’t care seeing she takes care of Jimmy anyway.” Jon told her kissing her shoulder.

Annoyed now, “Jon stop! That’s not the point oh this was a mistake.” She said out load when she meant to keep it to herself.

Sitting there looking at her, “What was a mistake? Us making love? Because I don’t think so. Ellie I love you and I want you to come with me on tour. So have you’ve given it any thought at all?” he asked her a little unnerved now.

“Jon that’s all I do is think about it but there’s more than just you and I now. If it was just me I could give you an answer right now but it’s not just you and me now is it. Until you can promise me that it will be child friendly I can’t. Can you understand that?” she asked him holding her breath.

Jon thought about it for about a second and looked at her loving. “If I can prove to you that I can provide everything that you want you’ll come with me? Then Baby pack your things.” He told her as he leaned in and kissed the hell out of her. She was giggling uncontrollably until he moved his hand to her back and felt the welts again so this time he was going to ask her what happened even thou he might not like the answer. Lying next to her while he had one hand on her back and the other pushing the hair out of her eyes he gathered the courage to ask her, “Ellie don’t get mad at me please but these scars on your back and well butt where did you get them? I don’t remember you having them before.” He asked her with all the love in his heart.

Damn it she thought it’s been so long that she even forgot about them. They don’t hurt anymore. And it was Jon she was never shy around him because he made her feel beautiful about herself. Smiling shyly and trying to move away from him but he wouldn’t let her go she said, “Would you believe I fell down some stairs?” she tried to say jokingly.

Jon wasn’t in a joking mood about this. He has a feeling where she got these marks but he had to hear it from her. “That’s not funny Ellie now where did you get these welts!” he asked her a little more harsh.

Ellie knew Jon had a temper but back when they were kids she really never saw it. So for him to use it on her like Michael used to was a little unnerving. She didn’t want to show him that it affected her because she knew the consequences wouldn’t be good (at least in her head it wouldn’t) so she told him what happened. “Yeah I think you know what happen ok so let’s just drop it.” She told him as she tried to get up for real this time as she struggled thru his grip but still didn’t work.

“Stop it will you. I just want to know if it was that jackass that did this to you. Because I would really hate to hurt the wrong person.” He told her as he gathered her up in his arms.

Looking at him and smirking, “Hurt the wrong person that’s so Italian of you.” She told him giggling.

“Go ahead laugh at me but I mean it. I thought you told me you left him after he hit you the one time.” He asked her.

Sighing, “You’re not going to like this and I thought you read the police report?” she asked him.

“I did said how he was stalking you and then you filed for the restraining order why is there more?” he asked her a little nervous.

“Oh Jon yeah there is. After I filed the restraining order everything was quiet for a couple of weeks to throw me off. Then one night I was doing inventory at work and I got out about a little after two a.m. when I got to my car well I don’t remember much after that. I just remember waking up in his house. That’s when he did the back and ass as he said I was a bad bad girl. I don’t remember a lot my therapist say’s that’s normal after being…well you know.”  She told him as she started to choke up a bit. Jon held her as tight as he could and told her that he wouldn’t let anything like that happen to her again. She was glad he didn’t want a blow by blow of what she did remember because she didn’t want to go over it again and she also didn’t think he could take it seeing how upset he gets. They stayed in bed for about another hour and a half before the knocking started on his door.   

Shooting up shocked Ellie asked, “What the hell is that!”

“Dead band mates!” Jon said pissed as he got out of bed and put on some pants. “Just stay covered up and I’ll take care of these assholes.” He said as he went to the door. As he unlocked the door he quickly opened it and stepped out into the hall where Richie and Dave were.

“So I take it she’s still here?” Dave asked him smiling all goofy.

“Yeah she’s still here so you guys beat it.” Jon told them eagerly.

“Well I hate to ruin your little love fest but I need a change of clothes.” Richie told him as he was shifting from foot to foot.

“Well can’t you borrow something from Dave? You guys are about the same build.” He told them as he kept looking behind him as if someone was standing there.

“Is she behind the door or something because you keep looking behind yourself?” Rich asked him curious.

“No look I just want to get back to her before she has to leave.  Hey you guys wouldn’t care if she and Jimmy joined us on tour would you?” Jon asked them hopefully.

Looking at each other and shrugging their shoulders Dave said, “Well it wouldn’t bother me but I can’t answer for Alec or Tico what about you Rich?”

“Well Dave’s right it wouldn’t bother me either but Tico and Alec well we can’t answer for them but I don’t see that Tico would care. Alec I think he could go either way. But why would you want to have them come with us? You know as well as we do it’s not fitting for them to come with us especially a kid Jon.” Richie told him.  

“Because I haven’t been with them for so long I don’t want to waste anymore time that’s why.” He told them.

“Hey I was just asking you don’t have to get all defensive on me save that one for Doc when you tell him this. He’s the one that’s going to freak out.” Richie told him.

“Oh yeah he’s going to freak out Jon plus you didn’t even run this by him.” Dave said to him.

“I’ll handle him. Look just come and get me an hour and a half before we have to take off ok? I ‘ll have to take Ellie home.” Jon asked him. Richie decided to see what he could scoop out of Dave’s closets and just wait til Jon left to take Ellie back home so he could change. Jon went back inside and found Ellie sound asleep. Yeah he could get used to this without a doubt. He just stood there and stared at her for a few minutes smiling and thinking of the years he missed out on with her and Jimmy. And all it would have taken was a phone call that his Mom wouldn’t tell him that he had gotten. Taking off his jeans and getting back into bed he snuggled back up into Ellie and put his arms around her. God he thought she smelled so good. So he pulled back her hair and was putting his nose and lips to the back of the neck when he could hear her start to giggle.

“Jon please you know that tickles me.” She told him quietly.

“Well I had to wake you up somehow didn’t I?” he asked her.

“Yeah well I guess it is time to get up. When are you leaving today?” she asked kind of sadly.

“About five today. Ellie do you have your check book and your saving account with you?” he wanted to know.

“Well I have my check book but not my savings why?” she asked him curiously.

“Ok don’t get mad at me but I want to put money in them so you’ll have something to live on.” He told her happily.  

“Well I appreciate that Jon but we can manage.” She told him nonchalantly.

“But I want to, I want to make sure that you have enough to pay off any bills that you have and to get whatever you to come on tour with me. Then whatever you need you can just pick it up as we go along. But I am going to have to know as soon because I’ll have to make sure we make the arrangements like you and I we’ll be having our own hotel room and on the bus our own closed off cabin. Oh and at the venues we’ll have to have a place to keep Jimmy so I’m going to need a dressing room and maybe we can get Spanky to help out on the babysitting duties, you remember her she was at the store that day when we…” Jon was cut off by Ellie who started laughing.

“Oh God Jon will you stop you’re going a mile a minute. We need to take this slow I’m sorry. Jon you may regret having us on tour with you and that would break my heart.  And I’m still having a problem with uprooting Jimmy.” She was telling him as he cut in.

“Ellie we’ve been apart too long and now we know why. I don’t want to be apart from you another minute more and I thought you felt the same way. What’s really going on?” Jon wanted to know.

“Jon there’s nothing going on believe me. I’ve made a good life here for the two of us, a stable life that Jimmy can count on. Even when all that crap was going on it didn’t affect him. That’s because my family made sure of it. So excuse me if this is causing me to take some time and really think about this decision.” She told him as she looked deep into his blue eyes that drove her crazy.

Not letting go of her he kissed the top of her head. “Ellie I get that really I do. But I’m here now and it’s my turn, my turn to protect the two of you. Ok I’m still giving you the timeline then of the two weeks ok and then I want an answer but if it’s no we’ll have to work something out for my time of seeing him.” He said to her.

“Wait if I say no we’re not going with you are you going to sue me for custody?” she asked him shocked.

“No I’m not going to sue you for custody ok I would never do that to you. I just want to work something out so were not crashing into each other that’s all. Is that what you’re afraid I’m going to do is sue you?” Jon asked her concerned.

Ellie didn’t want to answer the question. “Jon all you have to do is ask for a DNA test and it’s that simple. Actually it’s kind of funny isn’t it? A rock star trying to prove he’s the father of a child.” She said chuckling.

“Hey but usually their not in love with the mother or the child are they? I told you before Ellie we’ll get thru this if you give me a chance. Come on let’s get dress and I’ll get you home I still have a manager to talk to.” He told her.

Jon dropped her off at home after they had lunch together and he even spent some time with Jimmy before he left. The guys and Doc were waiting for him as Richie had packed up his things for him. Doc was having a nervous breakdown and wanted to know more about this girl that had walked into Jon’s life. Dave told him she didn’t just walk into his life but reappeared into his life, Doc didn’t care how you put it; it was upsetting his routine and distracting his lead singer which in his book wasn’t good. Jon got back to the hotel a little later than he had expected. When he opened the door to his room Doc was waiting for him.

“Well it’s about time you got back here loverboy.” McGhee loudly said.

Rolling his eyes, “What the fuck do you want Doc.” Jon asked sarcastically.

“Where the hell have you’ve been? The guys have been giving me all these lame excuses so finally I just kicked them out of here. So bigshot do you want to tell me where the hell you’ve been for the past few hours?” he asked him really excitedly.

“It’s none of your business where the hell I’ve been and where’s my stuff?” Jon asked as he looked around the room.

“Sambora packed it for you. It’s down in the van where the guys are and where you should be. So now that you got your pussy let’s go where gonna be late. You know just because you’re the lead singer and the cute one…” But that’s all Doc was able to get out as Jon grabbed him and started on him.

“DOC SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!! Don't you ever say anything like that again do you understand me. You don’t know anything about that girl so if you say anything about her again I’ll knock you into tomorrow got that! And I’m the one that signs your God damn pay checks so don’t you forget that either you moron. Oh and by the way she’s also the mother of my son so Bite Me!” Jon yelled as he went to join his brothers.

Doc stood there in shock for a moment and then, “Jon!!!”

**********************************************************************

 Two weeks had gone by and the guys were playing in Florida, Doc was trying to get more info out of Jon about what he had said to him in the hotel back in Worcester but Jon just kept telling him to fuck off. Finally Doc did corner him and demanded what the hell was going on and Jon just blurted everything out to him and if he didn’t like it then to fucking bad. And that he told her that he was bringing her on tour with them that’s when Doc had a shit hemorrhage.

“Jon there is no fucking way you can bring this broad on tour with us and a kid! First of all it’s not your tour you idiot! Plus you’re the one that’s bringing out the girls you do know that right? They find out that you’re a Dad that’s going to blow the whole deal.” Doc told him straight. “You know I hate to tell you this but you’re attractive to both men and woman.” Doc chuckled.

“You know you’re a Son of a Bitch!” Jon spat back at him angrily.

“Hey as long as you go out there and shake your ass on stage I don’t give a damn what you do in your personal life but I don’t want it to come back and bite us in the ass you got that! They’re not coming on tour plain and simple! The record company won’t pay for them and you don’t have the money either trust me you don’t.” Doc explained to him.

Jon wasn’t happy but he knew he was right. He wouldn’t be able to keep them on the road with him for too long if he had to pay himself. He was so sick of being an opening act. He wanted to be the headliner so bad. But they had just finished their second album and it was just working its way up the charts. Jon had gone to see about sound check as the guys were talking and waiting for him. Richie saw that he wasn’t smiling and thought here we go again. He’s been bitchy since we left his girlfriend and kid and he so needs to get out of this attitude now.

“Hey Kidd what’s up your ass today?” Richie asked him as he waited for Jon to chew his head off.

“Just had it out with Doc again over Ellie. So tired of his shit. He wants me to keep it quiet that I have her and Jimmy you know?” Jon told them upset.

“Well Jon I get his point you know. I mean it would be kind of hard to have her and the kid with us you traveling from city to city wouldn’t it?” Dave asked him carefully as the others looked on.

Jon just looked at the rest of them then asked, “Do the rest of you feel this way too?” They all kind of nodded as Jon just wanted to scream. He pinched the bridge of his nose and yelled, “THIS IS MY BAND, MY BAND!”

Richie then spoke up, “No Jon this is our band, and you know that. Look Dave and Tico each have girlfriends that they would love to have with them on tour too. But they don’t because they are making the sacrifices for their love of the music as you are.  So if you bring yours on then you have to let them bring theirs right? Only fair.” He hoped Jon wouldn’t get to mad at him.

Jon wanted to scream only because he knew Richie was right. Tico then spoke up, “Hey why don’t we come back later and try this again ok and Richie why don’t you and Jon go somewhere and talk this out. We’ll meet back here say around four.” The guys took off as Jon and Richie stood there staring at each other.

“Oh God Richie when did everything go to crap.” Jon asked his best friend.

“When we discovered girls. So Doc talked to you huh? Look Jon once we get established then we can do whatever we want. But until then we have to adhere to the rules to the suits.” Rich told him.

“But I’ve been bugging the crap out of her to give me an answer. Plus I told her to give her employer her notice. She’s supposed to give me her answer this week.” Jon told him.

“Well then I’d get on the phone with her and tell her not to do it or she’ll really be pissed off at you won’t she. Because she has to raise your son on something and if she doesn’t have her job well she won’t be a happy camper will she.” He asked him.

“No I guess not. Unless…” Jon said with a smile.

“Oh that’s not a good sign is it?” Richie noted.

“Well wait a minute, what if she does quit her job and then when she can she and Jimmy can come out and visit every now and then right? If she had her job she just couldn’t leave at the drop of the hat but if she isn’t working she can come out any time she wants too with or without Jimmy right?” Jon stated.

“Yeah I guess but Jon she has to pay her bills and her insurance and stuff right? How is she going to do that?” Richie asked him.

“Oh for crying out loud I’ll pay all that. I owe her child support anyway don’t I? I’ll just pay what she needs that’s all.” Jon told him happily.

“Is this coming from the same guy that when his ex-Dotty was spending too much of his money had a fit and put her on an allowance and that same person told him to shove it where the sun don’t shine. You’re willing to give your money away freely again to a chick you really don’t know or haven’t seen in years. Either you know something I don’t or you’re the dumbest man in the world.” Richie expressed his opinion to him.

“Look Rich I know that you’re concerned for me but I have offered her this money a couple of times before and she wouldn’t take it. I know what I’m doing really I do.” Jon told him.

“Wait you tried giving her this before but she wouldn’t take it?” Richie asked him. Jon shooked his head no and waited for his next question. “Jon most people would jump at the chance for this and she said no? Well maybe you have lucked out. But you just can’t ask her to sit at home either and to wait and do nothing either while you’re out making a living and she’s not. She’s been doing this now for the past what five years now she’s used to being on her own. Look do me a favor and make sure you’re doing this for the benefit of your family and not because your being selfish and lonely ok. Now come why don’t we go get a drink and relax a bit and maybe a bite to eat before we have to get back here how does that sound?” Richie asked him.

Jon smiled and thought that was a good idea. He would call Ellie later and talk to her about everything and see what she would say. He felt a lot better and now could concentrate on the concert tonight. 

Secret Revealed

Ellie was running around with her head chopped off even thou it was the second day of the sale and it was Calico’s, Broadcloth’s, Gingham’s, Velvet’s and Gabardine’s. Shirley and her were going non-stop all morning. By twelve she had to tell Shirley to go to lunch since they both gave up their breaks and Ellie wanted to make sure that Shirley at least ate lunch. It was finally starting to slow down a little so Ellie could get a breather when this handsome young man came around the corner and saw her cleaning up the department. He just stopped to watch her for a moment to see her in her environment. Ellie was just about to go into Receiving to get to the baler when she saw Jon staring at her.

Smiling, “Hey what are you smiling at wise guy.”

“Oh this beautiful girl just doing her thing. I thought I’d take her out to lunch if she was still up to it?” He asked her as he walked up to her.

“Oh you don’t know how much I’m up to it. It’s been a hell of a morning.” She told him. “Just wait here a sec and I’ll be right back ok I just need to dump this crap.” She went off as he went more into the department to just look around. He couldn’t believe that she ran this and had to talk to management and customers all day. As he was walking around he saw out of the corner of his eye a guy wondering around where he had walked in and he was watching him. ‘Oh great’ he thought. Just then this older lady came into the department also.

“Oh Hello Bob do you need anything?” Shirley asked him. Bob just shooked his head no and ran off. Shirley thought that was odd and continued on when she saw Jon. “Hello can I help you young man?”

“No I’m just waiting for Ellie to return.” He told her. “She went back there with some rubbish.”

“Oh ok then she shouldn’t be too long then.” She reassured him. And it didn’t as within five minutes Ellie came out with the carriage and back to the fabric table.

“Hey Shirl I’m going to Lunch with Jon. You remember him from last week?” she asked her.

“Yes that’s right. How are you?” she asked him.

“I’m fine it’s nice to see you again.” He told her smiling. Turning to Ellie, “Are you ready?”

“Yeah just let me get my pocketbook ok?” she told him and went out back.

They headed over next door to the restaurant and they got a table for two. Once seated Jon asked her, “I didn’t know that you had to punch out to leave. I thought you were management?”

“I am but I had a choice to either go on salary or not and Daddy told me to take it because would benefit me if they clock me. People on salary well they take advantage of and if I’m on the clock I get paid and I get time and a half. And I need the money so…” she told him.

“Well if you take my offer you won’t have to worry about anything anymore. I’ll take care of the both of you Ellie everything. Your bills will be paid off and if you need anything you’ll get it. I’ll make sure.” He told her happily.

Ellie just looked at him and wasn’t sure what he meant by that. Just then their food had come and she waited until the server left. Jon started eating and noticed that she wasn’t. After he swallowed he asked her, “Ellie is there something wrong with your food?”

“Uh no I was just thinking over what you said. You said it was an offer? An offer Jon? Really? You’ve got to be kidding me right? I thought that you really wanted us to be you know but now it’s an offer?” she asked him upset.

Jon just looked at her not knowing that he had said offer in that meaning. “Ellie I didn’t mean it the way it sounded. It’s just an expression. Honest sometimes I say things that don’t come out right. I’m sorry. You know I want you come with me how many times do I have to say it. God Ellie I’m not going to beg you I don’t have that in me to do it. Either you want to be with me or you don’t or you know I’ve been burn too many times Baby.” He told her matter of fact.

Ellie sat there shocked that he just came out saying that when he was the one that suggested that they come with him and leave everything behind. “Are you fucking kidding me Jon? You’re the one that wanted me and Jimmy to come with you and play house with you. You wanted me to uproot him and go on the God damn road with you with drunken rock stars, whore groupies, paparazzi’s taking your damn picture everywhere you go and God knows what else and you’re telling me that you have been burned too many times! Well get in freaking line Baby! Because until you have been rap…assaulted and no I’ll tell you when you’ve been seeing this guy for about a year then he decides that he feels that yeah what the hell I love you so much that I don’t want any guy looking at you anymore and starts stalking you that if you talk to him he starts hitting you. And then when your family tells you to break up with him and he won’t he ra…assaults you and God I can’t even get into it here you finally get him into prison for what he did to you don’t ever tell me I DON”T KNOW!” she angrily told him as she got up and left as she walked back to the store.

He sat there stunned at what he just learned. The word Rape just kept going thru his head. She was raped… She meant raped. He couldn’t fathom that at all. How could anyone do that to her. He paid the bill but didn’t go back into the store because he didn’t want to upset her any more than he did.  He went directly to the City Hall to see if he could pull any records of that event. He called their lawyer to meet him there if there would be a problem. He was going to find out what the hell happened and why.

***********************************************************************

It was after school and Sean had gotten home and about a half an hour later Wayne had showed up at the house. They had gone done to Sean’s room and while they were down there Wayne decided to ask Sean the question. “Hey Sean you know I went to the concert last night right?”

“Oh yeah how was it?” he asked his buddy Wayne.

“It was awesome. RATT was ok but the opening act was a lot better. You do know the opening act was called Bon Jovi?” he told him as he watching for his reaction.

“Yeah I know Ellie told me that they were opening for them. What of it?” Sean told him not really making anything of it.

“Well I met them last night and me and my Dad met Jon.” He said.

“Yeah so he’s a good guy.” He told his buddy.

“Well I thought you said he was seeing your sister?” he asked him skeptical.

“Ok Wayne what are you getting at because Jon is seeing my sister.” Sean told him.

“Well if he is he wasn’t last night because he was with this blonde and she had big boobs!” Wayne told him.

Sean just looked at him disbelieving him. “Nuh huh. He was just here the past few days then he took her out to dinner. I had to watch Jimmy for them.” Sean told him confused.

“Well I don’t know what to tell you but I know what I saw.” He told Sean directly.

Sean didn’t know what to say but he felt he had to tell his sister. They both waited until she got home after five p.m. Which she was exhausted at the day she had. She hadn’t stepped foot in the door when Jimmy came zooming into her wanting his mother. And two minutes later Sean and Wayne were on her too. “Whoa guys can you give me five minutes to unwind?” she asked them. She put away her things and went to the den to sit down. Jimmy was sitting on her lap telling her everything that he did that day when the guys came in too. She asked them what was up and Sean told her Wayne had something to tell her. So Wayne told her everything that happened last night. She listened intensely and she told them thank you for the information. They wanted to know what she was going to do. “Well until I talk to him and hear his side of it I really can’t make a judgement call now can I? I mean guys it wouldn’t be fair now would it. There might be a real good reason he was talking to her and I do mean talking. So let’s just wait and see if he tells me ok?” she told them even thou she was still mad at him.

Wayne had gone home and they had just finish up eating and Beth had some friends upstairs doing their homework and Sean doing his in the den. Ellie was playing with Jimmy also in the den when there was a knock on the door and Paul answered as Cecelia was just finishing up. “Jon Hi come on in. Ellie is in the den with Jimmy go on in.” he said to him.

“Thanks Mr. Anderson.” He said as he started but Paul stopped him.

“Jon I think it’s time that you call me and Cecelia by our first names don’t you? It’s either that or Gram and Grandpa and I’m really not ready for you to do that.” Paul told him.

“Thanks I will.” Jon said smiling and breathing easier now. He walked into the den and saw the best site ever as he saw Ellie and Jimmy wrestling on the floor. She finally got him where she wanted him and started tickling him and him squealing. Sean was laughing as Jimmy was yelling for help to Uncle Sean but before Uncle Sean could that’s when Jon walked into the room.

“Well it looks like Mommy got you good.” He said to Jimmy. Well everything stopped and they all looked at Jon.

“Yup Mommy got me good.” Jimmy told Jon laughing.

“Ah what are you doing here Jon?” Ellie asked him.

“I need to talk to you about what happened back at the restaurant Ellie.” Jon told her directly.

“Yeah about that I said some things that I didn’t mean…look I was angry and said somethings out of context you know I blew them out of proportion.  I was just looking for sympathy that’s all so forget it will you.” She told him hoping he would forget what she said.

Walking over to her and bending down to her, “Yeah I don’t think so because I went to the City Hall after our little spat and I found some very interesting things that we need to talk about. Now either we talk about it right now or I go into that kitchen and ask your parents what the hell happened. So what do you want to do?” he asked her.

“You’re a jerk you know that.” She said to him pissed.

“Whatever it takes. Do you want to come with me back to my hotel or do you want to do it here?” he asked her straight out.

“Fine your place.” She told him. She went to her parents and told them what was going on and they thought that he deserved to know about Michael and what he did. She asked Sean if he could stay with Jimmy again and he told her fine. She told them that she may or may not be coming home tonight depending on how long this was going to take and how much it was going to take out of her. They told her that would be fine and they would take care of Jimmy and not to worry. She grabbed her sweater and pocketbook with her meds in it and they took off. Once they got there Richie was watching t.v. when they arrived.

“Yeah Jon you didn’t tell me you guys were coming back here.” Richie asked him.

“Yeah I’m sorry I wasn’t sure can I talk to you outside for a sec.” he asked him as he nodded his head towards the door.

“Yeah sure hey Ellie how are you?” he asked her as he had gotten up from his bed.

“Fine thank you.” She said as she just wanted to run as far as she could.

Outside the door in the hallway. “Hey Rich I really need to talk to Ellie and it’s real important. Do you think you could find somewhere else to bunk for the night?” he asked his best friend.

“Oh oh really hoping for something to happen uh?” Richie asked him smiling.

“No not really I just found out some disturbing news this afternoon and I want to ask her about it. Look I’ll tell you all about it  once I get it all out of her but first I need a quiet place for the two of us to talk things out so do you think you can find somewhere?” he asked him pleading.

“Yeah sure let me see if Dave can hole me up I’ll be right back ok?” Rich told him and he started down the hall. Jon went back into the room where Ellie was sitting in one of the chairs waiting.

“So what did you do kick your buddy out?” Ellie asked him pissy.

“No he’s gone to see if he can bunk with someone else for tonight if that’s ok with you?” Jon said back smart assy.

“It’s your room.” She said almost as if she didn’t care.

Jon had to go to the bar and grab a glass and poured himself his jack. He figured that this was going to be a long night. Ellie noticed the drink that he had in his hand and wondered when he started drinking the hard stuff. Richie had come back from Dave’s room and told him that he could stay with him tonight. “Yeah he said he didn’t mind. April wasn’t coming to see him until we’re in Philly so he has room for me. Is everything ok?” Richie asked carefully as he packed just a few things for the night.

“Yeah everything is fine. We just need to go over a few things and we might go into the night you know?” he gave Rich his signature look.

“Ok then I hope I see you sometime tomorrow then Ellie.” Richie said as he headed out. Ellie said bye and just sat there staring into space as Jon walked up to her.

“Ellie do you want anything to drink?” he asked her trying to get her attention.

“No thank you let’s just get this over with so I can get home.” She told him with her snotty attitude.

“Look Ellie why the attitude? All I want to know is what happen when we were apart. And I want to know who the Hell is this Michael Jenkins.” He told her rather demanding.

Looking at him shocked she asked him, “How did you get that name?”

“I have my connections. Plus everything is public record Babe. So this afternoon I did some digging around. So I am going to calmly ask you why you didn’t tell me on our first date when we were telling each other about the people we dated that this asshole raped you. Ellie he raped you? You want to tell me what the hell happened please!” Jon asked her agitated.

Ellie sat there very uncomfortable. She finally gathered her courage and told him, “Yeah he did. There’s nothing else to tell. We dated for about a year and a half and then he turned into a crazy person. Started stalking me and wanting to know where I was every minute of the day and God forbid if I talked to a guy. He also had a pretty good right. It only took once for me to get hit by the way when I told him to hit the bricks. I thought Daddy and my brothers were going to kill him. Luckily Uncle Dick talked them out of it. Seeing he’s on the Oxford Police force and knew what would happen if they did touch him. Anyway after a long trial he got what was coming to him ok.” She told him in a monotone voice.

Jon just got up and went to wrap his arms around her but she backed off from him. He didn’t understand why she did that. “Ellie what’s the matter? It’s me.” He told her not understanding why she was distance.

“Jon really? You drag me here to get this out of me because you demanded it when I really didn’t want to tell you that I was raped by some crazy. He just didn’t do…that. He beat the shit out of me Jon because he thought I was cheating on him. Jimmy almost lost me. Mom and Dad would have raised him until a certain point or until the age of eighteen. Their his guardians.  I made sure of that when he was one you know just in case. Joe is second. So yeah I’m a little jumpy sometimes when people come up behind me when I don’t expect it. Now can I go home?” she asked him really angry now.

“No you can’t go home now. I’ve read the police report Ellie and I know what he did to you and it makes me sick. They go into great detail by the way. You’ve always told me everything and I can’t see why you couldn’t find it in your being to tell me about this. Did you think I would look at you differently? And did he hurt Jimmy?” he asked her as he felt this anger going thru him for this man that he wanted to hurt more than anything.

Looking at him and knowing how he gets pissed real easy, “Jon I know you wouldn’t look at me differently. I was afraid that you would freak out like you’re doing now. It was bad enough that Daddy and my brothers went after him. Plus Joe and Chick have friends. But you? Oh my God I know you have friends in high places. So you cannot do anything do you understand me. A lot of things were said at the trial and I don’t want anyone getting in trouble ok? And no he never touched Jimmy. Because if he had I would have killed him myself.” She told him with a wildness in her eyes.

“First of all me knowing those type of people are extremely exaggerated. I just know some by mutual friends I don’t know them as buddies ok? I’m not that stupid. And I’m real glad he didn’t touch Jimmy because then I’d go into hawk to make sure that he’d get his in jail if you know what I mean. But a part of me still wants to do that for what he did to you. Ellie it’s ok to talk about this.” he told her as he had got up and wrapped his arms around her as she tried to break free. “Ellie stop it. I love you.” He told her.

“Oh really then what were you doing with a blonde bimbo last night?” she asked only because he never brought it up to her.

He stopped and just looked at her trying to figure out how the hell she knew about that girl last night. “Huh? Wh…what blonde?” he asked her trending carefully.

Oh this was going to be fun. “The blonde bimbo with the big boobs apparently that was hanging off you by the couch you were sitting at.” She told him almost verbatim of the night.

How the hell did she know? She wasn’t there was she? No. “Ok I’ll bite do you have someone you now that works at the Centrum?” he asked her as this was driving him crazy.

“No but I wish I did at least I’d get back stage passes. Do you remember a guy and his son coming up to you last night?” she asked him.

He did as he replied, “Oh yeah I was glad they did because I was trying to get her away from me. She didn’t have much upstairs in the brain department if you know what I mean. I mean Whoa! Stupid. Wait you know them?” he asked her surprised.

“Just the son Wayne. He’s a friend of Sean’s. He got all worried that when he saw you he thought you were cheating on me. So this afternoon he told Sean and they waited for me to get home to tell me. I had to tell them not to worry and that sometimes you have to, oh what did I say Take one for the team. I told them not to worry and that I didn’t think you would do anything stupid if you wanted to see Jimmy.” She told him smirking.

“So you believed me without even talking to me first. Wow Dotty would of ripped me a new one the second I walked in the door never mind having a discussion first like we just did. So how did you I didn’t cheat?” Jon asked her surprised actually.

“Because you’re trying really hard to convince me that you love me and that you want to make a life with me and Jimmy and I, well I like to think I can read your face. It would have been nice if you told me but then again I don’t think I need to hear about every single girl that hits on you.” She told him rolling her eyes.

“No I suppose not. So are you still mad at me?” he asked her as he ran his hand up her face and then in her hair.

“Uh I’m still a little peeved I guess. You got me all worked up.” She told him smiling.

“I did huh. Well we did make arrangements you know and Richie is staying with Dave tonight. And it is getting late at least for you it’s a little past eleven you know.” He teased her.

“Maybe I will let you take care of him for a whole day and see how tired you get smartass.” But before she could say anything else he bent down and started to kiss her passionately. Ellie didn’t know what hit her. She felt it all over her body. Jon could feel that she was getting weak in the knees so he bent a little and scooped her up. Breaking off the kiss she yelped, “Hey what the hell?”

“I felt that you were getting weak in the knees and I didn’t want you to fall down. So I’ll just lay you down on the bed.” He told her grinning.

“Yeah well um where are you going to sleep?” she asked him nervously.

“Babe stop ok. I’m not going anywhere. I can’t tell you how long I’ve waited for this moment and now and now I get to show you just how much I love you. Please let me do that.” He asked her as he looked at her so lovingly. Sitting up and looking into his deep blue eyes she smiled and started to kiss him like there was no tomorrow and that’s all Jon needed to know. He laid her back after taking off her shirt and laying besides her. It was nothing like what either one had ever experience before and that included the few times when they were together before. Jon was determined to show her how much he loved her and how she should be loved. 

Decisions Decisions???

Jon needed to answer this question not only carefully but sensitively. “Ellie we didn’t get back together right away. It took almost a year before we did. You can believe me or not but I was really upset when you left. The first month I didn’t even come out of my bedroom but only to work and play.” He started to tell her as he got up and poured himself some coffee. “You want your tea?” he asked and as she said yes he made her tea.

“Thanks, Jon I didn’t know I’m sorry. I basically did the same thing. Except I was crying for months on end. When they found out I was pregnant the doctors were worrying about the not eating, stress, emotional stress, the migraines you about name it. I was a mess, I had everyone worried. Especially when I went into premature labor.” She told him.

“Ellie I’m so sorry that I wasn’t there for you for that. I would have loved to have been there for that. Seeing my son coming into the world and being by your side that would have been wonderful.” Jon told her as he choked up.  

“Tell you a secret?” she asked him smiling.

“Yeah sure.” He said smiling back.

“I can’t tell you how many times I’ve dreamt of you being there. By my side. Me telling you that it was time and seeing your face and trying to get us to the hospital. I’ve ran it thru my head about a million times. Stupid huh?” she said as she got very quiet all of a sudden.

Walking up to her and putting his arms around her, “Hey it’s not stupid and I’m sorry it didn’t happen that way.” He told her kissing her on top of her head. “But I swear I’ll make this this right. Just give me a chance Ellie please. I never stopped loving you. Yes Dotty and I started things back up again for a few years but then with me trying to get a record deal and getting a band together was one thing. She stayed with me because I started to get some recognition in New Jersey and meeting Bruce Springsteen and Southside Johnny I was making connections. But then we got a manger his name is Doc McGhee and he started getting us real gigs you know with real acts. You know we’ve been overseas and we’re really becoming a hit over there.” He told her excitedly and she told him that was great and how proud she was of him. He always knew she had the faith in him and that Dorothea never had.

“That’s wonderful Jon. I know that’s everything you ever dreamed of. But I don’t understand are you or are you not still with her? I would think she would love to travel with you all around the world?” she asked him hoping that he sent her sailing.

“Well that’s what I’m trying to tell you. She never cared about me; she only cared about what I could give her. She proved that when I cut her off one day and gave her an allowance. She was spending way too much and my accountant was getting on my back about it so we sat her down and told her we were putting her on an allowance and she freaked. So I explained to her that she either takes the allowance or leaves.” He told her not really looking at her at this point seeing that he was embarrassed that he had taken her back and was explaining all this to her.

“Jon can I ask you a real personal question?” she asked him hoping he wouldn’t get mad at her.

Turning to look at her he told her, “Sure go ahead.”

“Did…did you love her?” she choked out.

Smiling, “In a small way I did. But not like the way I love you Ellie. Dot was always there for me. I guess deep down I’ve always felt I’ve used her. And she’s used me. So we’re even. But then this sandy blonde girl from Mass. came into my life and well she just hit me like a lightning bolt. Thought I could forget her but I really couldn’t. Fate has a strange way of reconnecting people doesn’t it?” he said to her.

“Yeah it does.” She said back to him trying so hard not to show him how she really felt but it wasn’t really working.  “So then she is out of the picture?” she asked him again.

“Yeah Ellie she out of the picture. I’m not seeing anyone right now except but a bunch of fans who want me as their own. And if you decided to come back to me the question to you is: Can you handle the pressure? The pressure of the fans that will be hounding us constantly and the paparazzi that will too. Because I don’t want to start something and then get burned if you can’t.” he said to her honestly.

“Jon I can’t answer that right now. I mean I see what the celebs go thru and the main question is do WE want to put Jimmy thru that? Personally I don’t think it will hurt him as long as we keep him grounded. But you want an answer what now?” she asked him angrily.

Sitting them down, “No I’m not asking you to answer me now. I know you have a job and that you want to give a notice because I want you to come on the road with me. So I need you to think this over Baby. If you truly love me I want you to think about this for a while then have an answer for me when I talk to you in a couple of weeks. When you’re ready I’ll come and get you and Jimmy and we’ll fly back when we’re playing our next gig. I don’t want to miss out any more time and years with my son or my girl.” He told her sincerely as he leaned into her and gently kissed her on her lips.

She let him kiss her for a few seconds then he backed off because he didn’t want to scare her. He knew there was something still that was bothering her because of some of her reactions during their time together that night. Sitting there quietly for a few minutes Jon broke the silence by asking her, “Um is there anything you want to tell me?”

“She looked at him and said, “Like what? I thought you said I could have a week to answer you?”

“I did but I think there’s something else bothering you. You’ve been antsy all night. Like if I came up behind you and touched you you would jump like a mile high even thou you knew it was me. What’s up with that?” he wanted to you.

“Oh that, it’s nothing really it’s just that I haven’t been out in a while or away from Jimmy and I’m a little distracted that’s all so I wasn’t paying attention so don’t make a big deal out of it.” She told him lying thru her teeth.

“Really?” Jon said giving her attitude.

“Yeah, oh come on. Fine that and Steve does this thing at work where he tries and scares the shit out of me by sneaking up behind me which sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t. I mean once I almost clocked him with a bolt holder, you know it holds fabric upright and it’s made of metal, anyway he sneaks up behind me screams and I turn around with it in my hand and miss his head maybe by an inch. Oh I would of gotten in so much trouble if I did clock him one because he would have ended up out cold and my ass in a sling while all the time he’s laughing like a loon.” She explained to Jon who wasn’t laughing. “You’re not laughing Jon?”

“It’s not funny Ellie. I asked you about this kid and you told me you weren’t seeing him. Are you and are you seeing anyone?” Jon wanted to know.

Looking at him annoyed now, “I told you I wasn’t seeing anyone. I don’t have time to. I told you Steve flirts with everyone and that he’s just a friend. Now if you want to do me a favor you come down and flaunt all over me and maybe even talk to Bob and get him off my back seeing that he bugs the crap out of me. Now him I wouldn’t care.” She told him strongly.

“Yeah you really wouldn’t care say if I came down this week and say I took you out for lunch?” he asked her smiling.

“No I wouldn’t mind and I usually go to lunch say about oneish because Shirley usually goes to lunch around twelve. And I really wouldn’t mind being seen with the most handsomest guy in the whole world.” she told him blushing. 

“Oh really you wouldn’t huh well when I see him I’ll tell him but in the meantime you’re stuck with me.” He told her smiling as he leaned in again to kiss her but a little bit longer this time. As he was kissing her he moved in closer and wrapped his arms around her so she would be close to him. Ellie’s head was spinning and her emotions were all over the place. She felt Jon wrap his arms around her and it had been so long that he had done that. He was the one. The one that took her heart and ran with it. Not like the others who thought they did then stomped on it. A couple she could understand they were too young to take her on and a young child but…the mistake of her life she hope would be gone for good. They both were forgetting themselves and Jon started pushing her down on her back as he went to lay on her and move his hand up her blouse when she jumped.  Jon immediately shot up and got off of her with an ‘I’m sorry face’. Helping Ellie to sit up, “I’m really sorry Ellie I guess I went to fast but I…I just wanted you so bad that I forgot myself.” He apologized.

Looking him in his blue eyes, “It’s ok Jon it’s not that I wouldn’t want to but I don’t think it’s the right time yet. Plus I really do need to get home because if Jimmy wakes up during the night and I’m not there he’ll freak out. Plus I didn’t set anything in motion for me to be gone all night so he thinks I coming home as do my parents.” She told him kind of apologetic herself because if she didn’t have Jimmy she could have stayed the night and they both knew it.

“No I get it really I do. I mean I would love you to stay don’t get me wrong but he comes first. You seem like you’re a great Mom Ellie. So I’ll call you when I can in a day or two ok?” he told her even thou he didn’t want to let her go.

“Fine. Jon you’ll have your chance to be a Dad to him but you have to give yourself a chance to know that you’re going to be a great Dad, and you will.” She told him as she gave him a hug and he hugged her back. They stood there for a few minutes before they parted and Jon drove her home. He walked her to the door as it was around one a.m. and the kitchen lights were still on.

“Looks like someone is still up.” Jon told her looking into the kitchen window as they stood on the little platform by the backdoor.

“It’s probably just one of the kids, Beth and Chick still have curfews so it looks like it should be one of them why you worried?” she asked him as she pulled him to her and he wrapped his arms around her.

“No I’m not worried. Why should I be worried? Let’s see I just knocked up their daughter and never got in touch with her or was there for her in her time of need and now I standing with her at the back door five years later trying to make out with her again. Yeah I’m not worried one bit that I’m going to get my ass kicked.” He said smart assy.

“They know the whole story not that their thrilled about it but they know it’s not your fault. Plus they all love Jimmy and me so…if they want us in their lives they have to be nice to you too.” She told him as she started to nibble on his chin.

“Oh you are making this harder for me to leave you know that don’t you?” he told her as he finally took her mouth and gave her a proper goodbye. After a few minutes they parted and Jon said to her, “We will make this work I promise you Ellie. I know we’re young but we’ll show them. I love you Babe.” He told her still holding her tight.

Tearing up, “I love you too Jon I really do. Good night.” Kissing her one last time he finally let go and walked to the car. Ellie waved good bye and went into the house as Chick was in the kitchen eating his PB and J and milk.

“Oh I love you Jon (making kissy noises and then laughing). You two trying to start something up again? Because won’t it be hard if he’s on the road?” Chick asked her still giggling.

“You’re a shit. And we’re still in the talking stages. It’s going to take some time because it means taking Jimmy out of his environment that has been safe for him into something that’s well hectic you know and tonight well he did ask me but I didn’t want to get into all that just yet. I mean we just met again after five years you know but the best thing is we still have the same feeling for each other. Did you see Jimmy at all when you got home?” she asked him.

“No I just got home about ten minutes before you two did. Sean’s upstairs with him in your bed I believe. Beth got home early but Sean was already with Jimmy here Mom left you a note.” Chick gave it to her.

She read the note just saying that Sean had worn Jimmy out and the two of them fell asleep in her bed and not to worry. “Ok then well I’m going to bed then I’m going to see if I can squeeze into my bed. I don’t want to wake the two of them up. Unless I can put Jimmy in his without waking him. Now I know how Mom felt when she had at least four of us in the bed during thunderstorms. “ Ellie chuckled.

“Yeah but we did it.” Chick said proudly.

“Yes we did. And at times even when Daddy was there. But Joe was too good to come in with us always the big shot.” Ellie said laughing.

“I don’t know about that I just don’t think he could find a place to fit because he was always last. Remember he could sleep thru anything.” He told her as they were reminiscing. Ellie went upstairs and saw them both in her bed and smiled. She wished Jon could see this. Jimmy looked like a little angel sleeping next to his Uncle. Ellie grabbed her night clothes and went to bed happy for the first time in a long time.

*********************************************************************

Jon got back to the Hotel and his feelings were all over the place. When he got up to his room it was still empty which he was glad because he really didn’t feel like answering questions right now. He stripped down and put on his sweats and a T and grabbed a beer and hopped into bed. He just let the night replay in his head and how much he really wanted her to stay the night. No how much he really needed her to stay the night. He closed his eyes as he laid there in the quiet for a while hoping to get a handle if she will decided to come on the road with him. The only problem will be Doc and the guys and if they’ll have a problem with him having his family with him touring. His family. He kept saying that over and over in his head. About twenty-five minutes later the door open and a very sated and feeling good Richie Sambora came into the room.

“Hey Kidd you’re home early oh or is she in the bathroommm?” he asked him a little wobbly.

“Hey Rich, no I drove her home a little while ago. Why are you back this early? I thought you’d be out all night?” he asked him.

“Well I didn’ttt think you were gonna be well you know, so I came home.” He told him as he flopped on his bed.

“Well I see that you had a good time right?” Jon asked him seeing that he seemed very happy.

“Ohh yeah this girl was Oh God I thought she was going to kill me Jon. She could do things Whoa! Anyway I just wanted to wake up in my own bed and I know we have rehearsal early right? Well that’s what I told her anyway.” He said as he sounded as he was starting to drift off.

“Yeah for you it’s early it’s in the afternoon so make sure you sleep real good. I’ll see you when you wake up.” Jon said as he chuckled.

*********************************************************************

Jon and the guys had interviews with the band RATT and rehearsals and played for two nights in a row at the Centrum. They were almost sold out shows and RATT’s management had found out that thru the grapevine that the kids were loving Bon Jovi. They only had about forty-five minutes on stage every night but they pushed it as far as they could before RATT’s stage crew would start to hover around the stage to get them off. Jon didn’t care he’d push the limits to get his band noticed. Stephen came running over and started screaming at Doc. “GET YOUR GOD DAMN GUYS THE FUCK OFF MY STAGE!”

Roger the guy’s band manger was trying to calm Stephen down. “Stephen Jesus calm the hell down will you. You guys don’t go on for at least another thirty minutes so there’s plenty of time for you to get your instruments all set before you go on. So they’re show boating a little let them have it the crowd is going wild for them you remember what it was like.” Roger told him trying hard to make him remember.  

“Well I don’t fucking care this is my show so Doc keep your fucking animals under control or they’re off this tour!” Stephen screamed at McGhee.

“What’s the matter Pearcy afraid of a little competition? You know damn well my guys can dance rings around you. Oh and by the way you kick my boys off this tour and I’ll sue you for everything you guys are worth we have a contract remember?” Doc told them smiling like the goose who just laid the golden egg.

“Just get them the fuck under control then!” he yelled as he stomped off.

Doc turned to their manager Roger, “You tell your smartass little fucking diva that if he ever threatens my guys again well let’s just say that will be the last thing he ever does.” Well Roger just gave him a look and ran off to see if he could calm him down. The guys finally made their final bows and came running off the stage sweating but still energized and they knew that they had done one hell of a show. They headed to the back to get some water and food before they hit the showers.

“That was awesome! Did you guys see how the crowd was going wild for us!” David yelled.

“No kidding right? Not only can’t I hear but I think I went extra hard on the screaming tonight because I was trying to sing over they’re screaming.” Jon said excitedly.

“Well I nearly lost it when those two girls in front flashed us. And Jon I saw you trip when they did that. Ha ha ha.” Richie said laughing.

“Yeah yeah yeah I thought Alec was going to jump in with them.” Jon said laughing back.

“Yeah I would have if I could. But I think they would have eaten me alive.” Alec was laughing just as hard too.

 Just then Doc came walking in. “Well you guys were on fire tonight. We have one more show the day after tomorrow so you can rest up. Doing two shows in a row and you’re not even slowing down like those guys are. But you’re going to have to stick to our agreement and keep your gigs to forty-five minutes because Mr. Hissy Pants is having a hissy every time you go over your time. And he’s threatening to break our contract if you don’t stop.” Doc told them.

“Oh come on it doesn’t take that long to set up their stuff and it’s only two songs Doc.” Jon told him bitching about it.

“Hey come on think of it what if you guys were in their shoes and they were doing it to you? Right? So keep it to the allotted time and there won’t be any trouble. Ok go get showered up so I can present you at the after party.” He told them.

Jon thought over what Doc had said to him while he was getting cleaned up. He guess he could be a little more thoughtful. Maybe. When the show was over and everyone was at the after party there were people floating around the room talking and Doc was trying to make connections for the guys. Everyone seemed to be paired off except Jon as he was sitting alone on one of the couches with a drink in his hand. Doc saw this and thought that wasn’t right and decided to send someone over to him to talk to him and hopefully more Doc thought. He felt this wasn’t Jon since his break up with Dorothea. Jon was just watching things as he liked to do when this girl walked up to him.

“Hi my name is Mindy mind if I sit down?” she asked him.

Jon looked around and didn’t think it would hurt things so, “No be my guess.”

“Thanks. You’re that lead singer in the band that went on before the main act right?” she asked him.

Saying to himself, ‘Great she doesn’t even know the names of our bands. This should lead to an interesting conversation.’ “Yeah I’m the lead singer in the band Bon Jovi. My name is Jon.” He just shooked his head.

“Well lead singer in the band Bon Jovi how would you like to take me back to somewhere quiet?” she asked him.

He saw a couple of the guys looking at him talking to this girl and he was getting the thumbs up. They were also smashed. Just then these guys and kid walked over to him and one of them was the manager of the Centrum and a pal of his and his son.

“Oh sorry Jon I don’t want to disturb you but Dan and his son Wayne are just about leaving and they wanted to say goodnight.” He explained to him.

Jon wasn’t bothered at all by this interruption and was happy to talk to them for however long it took. But Dan had to get going for he had work in the morning and Wayne was getting out of school seeing it was really late. As they were leaving Dan even gave Mindy the once over as she was a beautiful blonde and very stacked. When he got home he might have mentioned it to his wife as Wayne had overheard them when he went to bed. It bothered Wayne all night because one of the reasons Wayne wanted to meet Jon was one: he was on top of all the metal music but two he wasn’t sure that his best friend was telling him the truth that his sister had dated him but with Jon sitting there with another girl other than Ellie how was he going to tell Sean now that Jon was cheating on her.