Heartache

  They were a happy little family until it came time for Jon to leave back for Vancouver. Jared had taken Jimmy to school this morning so Ellie and Jon could be alone until his ride came in a few hours. Ellie was loading the dishwasher when Jon walked up to her.

“Hey stop that for a minute will you?” he asked her as he turned her around. “I’m not too thrilled about this either and I don’t think Jimmy realized it so you’re going to have your hands full when he gets home Babe.” He told her worried about both of them.

Sighing, “I know so don’t worry about it I’ll take care of him. But you know I do have the right to feel bad I was just getting use to you again in the bed seeing that you hog it.” She said smiling.

“I do not hog it.” He said feeling insulted, well not much as he was grinning.

“Yeah you do and the blankets.” She told him laughing.

“Oh now you’ve gone too far come here you little…” but just then the phone rang as Jon whined. “Ohhh don’t answer it Babe.”

“I have to it could be anyone and you know that.” She told him as she went to answer the phone and he rolled his eyes and crossed his legs.

“Hello? Chick? Chickie calm down ok? What’s the matter?...Yeah ok I can be home by tomorrow morning the latest. How’s Daddy?...Ok tell him we’ll be home very soon alright. Ok Love you. Bye.” She said as she hung up the phone and just stood there staring into space. Jon walked over to her concerned for her and wrapped his arms around her and kissed her on the back of her head.

Finally he asked her, “Babe you want to tell me what’s going on?” he asked lovingly.

“Um Mom’s been sick which I knew she had the flu but it turned into ammonia so she couldn’t breath and it got really bad last night. She fought Daddy about going to the hospital but the E.M.T.’s talked her into going and once they got there she had a heart attack mild but still a heart attack. Personally I think they’re calling it mild because she was right there and they got it right away. And Daddy went catatonic.” She told Jon as she continued to stare into space.  

Jon was getting a little nervous now because she wasn’t moving or anything. So he turned her around so he could look at her. “Babe look at me. Come on look at me. Everything will be ok she’s a strong lady. If she can take care of you five she can get thru anything right? Do I see a smile? Huh?” he asked her as tears were coming down her cheeks now. “She’s going to be fine Babe now let’s get upstairs and get you packed and Jimmy so we can get to your folk’s as soon as possible ok?” he told her as she shooked her head yes. Walking to the stairs something hit her that he just said.

Ellie stopped on the third step when she turned to him and asked him, “Jon did you say we?”

“Yeah I did why?” he asked confused.

“Because you can’t go you need to go back to Vancouver.” She told him as she wiped away her tears.

“Baby you just worry about packing ok and I’ll worry about Vancouver. Now come on you go pack your bag and I’ll go pack one for Jimmy.” He told her as they started up the stairs again. Once they got up there she still wasn’t alright with his answer.

“No Jon for one you can’t pack Jimmy’s bag because you’ll pack it like you do your own so forget it.  And second you can’t come with me. Doc and them will have a fit if you don’t show up.” She tried to tell him as he butted in.

“I don’t care this is family and I’m not going to leave you all alone. Look at you you’re a mess. You need me right now.” He told her as he gave her a small kiss.

Thinking for a second she then told him, “Yeah I know right now I am but when Jimmy gets home I’ll be fine because I have to. And when I get home I’ll be fine because my family will need me I do great in time of crisis. I only fall apart when it’s over or when I’m alone so I’ll be fine. So don’t worry about be me. Like you said I’m a lot like Mom.” She told him as the tears again started down her cheeks.

Smiling, “Yeah I can see that Baby. Ok then come on let’s get you packed first then Jimmy but for your information I can pack up Jimmy just fine and the way you want it done. Just because I like mine done a certain way…” he started to say as she started to laugh and cut in.

“I’m sorry a certain way? Oh my God Jon you only take like two pairs of pants and a couple of shirts for a whole tour the guys told me. The other guys bring luggage after luggage. What do you do borrow theirs?” she asked him still laughing.

Well he was standing there smiling at her now and that made him feel a little bit better that he at least got her to laugh. “You know you have a beautiful smile but a great laugh that I could be very content with to go to my grave hearing. I don’t want to wait when I get back be prepared because I want to make this legal. This scare with your Mom it just goes to show you life is too short.” He told her as he sauntered over to her and took her in his arms.   

Looking in his eyes which usually brought her to her knees, “You’re only saying this because of Mommy. Why don’t you wait til you get back when the album is done and see how you or we still feel ok?” she told him trying not to go on the feeling’s that were hitting them right now.

“You saying you don’t want to marry me now?” Jon asked surprised and scared.

“No I’m not you dope. It’s just that we’re both scared right now of what might happen to Mom and thinking of the future and we shouldn’t be doing that right this second that’s all. All I know is that I love you more than I have ever in my life but I can’t think that far ahead right now. Do you understand that Sweetie?” she asked him and hoped he understood.

Squeezing her tight, “Yeah I do, sorry it’s just that I love you so much too. I just don’t want to lose you.” He told her as he looked lovingly into her eyes.

“I know that and I don’t want to lose you either and you won’t. As long as we’re honest with each other Jon you got that?” she told him strongly.

“Yes Ma’am I got that and I won’t forget it either. I guess I was just so used to the girls I use to date and how hurt I was well… (he bent down and kissed her hard and passionately) …I forgot what I had when I had you. But I won’t do that again. Ok so you go get yourself packed and I’ll go make arrangements for you to go home I can at least do that.” He smiled as they headed towards the bedroom.

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 Ellie was all set for later on that night as she was able to get two first class tickets to Boston for eight p.m. that night. Jon was able to get them and have them picked up at the house and to have them picked up at the airport and driven to her parents’ house. She called there once all the arrangements were made and that seem to calm her Dad down quite a bit to have all his kids with him. Finally one p.m. came around and Jon’s car came to pick him up but he was still hesitant about leaving her and his son.

“You know I can change my plans still and come with you and Jimmy…” as he said this she put her finger on his lips.

“No I really appreciate it Sweetie but you know all hell will break loose if you do.” She told him as she put her hand down on his arm.

“But I don’t feel right about this.” he said to her rubbing her arms.

“I know but believe me I really couldn’t take the backlash right now ok?” she told him staring back at him looking defeated.

“Ok I get it and I’m not going to push you on this but if something does happen you call me right away do you understand me?” he told her strongly.

“Yes I understand you perfectly and I love you for it. Plus you need to get this album done so we can be together for a while anyway.” She told him smiling.

“Ok then well kiss me before I change my mind.” And she did as he sent her into orbit.

She waved goodbye and waited til the car was out of her vision before she let the tears flow, she needed to get it out of her system before Jared and Jimmy got home.

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A few days have gone by and Jon and the guys were tired but something good was happening. Things were really starting to come together and they were pleased with some of the results they were getting finally. They had about six tracks laid down that they were very happy with. Hopefully now seeing that they were getting the hang of what they wanted maybe the other fifteen would go a lot faster.

As they were listening to the last track Richie asked Jon, “So have you heard from Ellie lately?”

“Yeah her Mom is doing better but they still want to keep her a few more days which is driving her Mom nuts. She wants to go home you know? And her Dad is doing better he was a mess when she got there. You know they have been together so long it’s funny how dependent you get on one another.” Jon told them.

“Yeah I noticed that with my folks too. Dad always says that he needs to go first because he’ll follow Mom right away.” Richie said.

“Yeah same with mine.” David said.

“Not mine. They wouldn’t care which one went first. Even thou they go everywhere together now they still do things separately and are very independent of each other. But I do know one thing if Dad went first my Mom would drive me nuts because she would want me to take care of her and that sure as hell would break up my marriage to Ellie.” Jon told them.

“Oh you think Jon.” Richie asked him.

“Don't be a smartass Rich. But can you image the two of them together living in one house and I don’t care how big the house is either. There isn’t a house big enough for the two of them.” Jon shuttered.

“Yeah World War III. I can’t believe Ellie actually let them see Jimmy thou that was really cool of her.” Richie said.

“Yeah it was that’s why I love her so much. Mom could really learn a lot from her.” Jon told them.  They all looked at him and agreed with that.

“So when are you going to let them see Jimmy again?” Tico asked him.

“I told them we’ll see when I get home from here and if Mom behaved herself by sticking to the rules. You know no stalking Jimmy mainly and not bad mouthing Ellie so we’ll see.” He said as he was pushing buttons and trying to get the right volume, blocking, syncing and etc. as he was talking.

“So did Jimmy take to them?” Tico asked.

“Oh um he wasn’t sure at first because the only grandparents he knows is Ellie’s and basically Richie’s which pisses my Mom off to know end.” Jon said as Richie jumped in.

“Yeah I bet it does. Here are my folks helping out you and your kid calling them Grandma and Grandpa.” Rich squinted.  

“Yeah you don’t think I haven’t heard an earful of that and I know your parents have too and I’ve thanked them I think about a million times by the way.” Jon told Richie who was smiling at him.

“You know they don’t mind.” He told him.

“I know they don’t and I’m grateful for that.” He told his best friend.

It was a very long day but a very productive one the guys thought. They had laid down two more tracks that they liked and now only had to get them mixed and settled. The others were ready to hit the club but again Jon declined and gave some lame excuse like he wanted to go over some of the remaining songs and tweak them.

“Jon if you tweak them anymore we’ll be starting from the beginning again. So come on come with us you don’t have to do anything just come and have a few beers with us then you can leave.” David told him.

“I really appreciate that Dave but nah I’ll just go back to the condo and have some dinner and watch some t.v. and maybe call Ellie and see how things are going.” He told them.

“You just want to go back and have phone sex with her.” Dave said waggling his eyes at him.

“Shut the fuck up will you Joker it all depends who is around and if Jimmy is asleep.” Jon said giving Dave the finger also.

“Oh you wound me.” Dave said laughing.

“Yeah that will be the day!” Alec said laughing.

“Alright we’re leaving we’ll see you later. Is there anything we can bring you back?” Richie asked him.

“Nah I’m fine I’m just going to fiddle with this a little longer and then head back and have dinner so I’ll see you guys later.” He told them.

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 When the guys were on their third round of beers a couple of the girls came to sit with them. One of them who was interested in Jon asked Richie where he was. Rich again told him that he was back at the hotel and wasn’t coming back and again told her. She wasn’t too happy with that and more or less told him that. So she told him that tomorrow he better come in with them or she was going to contact his fiance and tell her everything if he didn’t. Richie told her she better not or their will be hell to pay but she didn’t care he was the one she wanted and he was the one she was screwing with when he took off so who was he to just drop her like a bad habit. She got up and stormed off and left him sitting there thinking how the hell do they pick these broads.

Richie got Tico’s attention and asked him to move to one of the corners of the club.

“Rich what the hell is it?”

“You see that brunette over there in the gold and black two piece with the fish net’s?” he asked Tico.

“Yeah I see her why?” he wanted to know.

“Well guess what? We have another little crisis’s in what we call Jon’s life.” Rich told him.

“Oh crap now what?” Tico asked.

Richie explained what the girl told him and Tico just shooked his head. “What does he have a fucking magnet for this crap? Ok maybe we can defuse this before it gets out of control.” Tico told Richie.

“Yeah how do we do that ugly him up?” Richie suggested.

“That’s one way. No but I have an idea hang on.” Tico said as he made his way over to her.

She made a face when Tico walked up to her and it seemed she didn’t want to hear anything he had to say. But Tico wasn’t going away that easily. After about ten minutes with her alone she hugged Tico and shooked her head and then looked at Richie and blew him a kiss and with a hand to her chest nodded as she looked at him with a sympathetic look. Tico then walked back to Richie with a wicked grin.

“Tic what the hell did you say to her that made her leave? Is she going to say anything about Jon or what?” Richie was dying to know.

“Nope she’s not going to say a word.” He told Rich as he was pretty proud of himself.

“You’re kidding right? She’s not going to say a word? Did you promise to pay her off or something?” he wanted to know.

“Nope once I explained about Jon she understood that’s all.” He told him as he sipped his drink.

Richie just looked at him suspiciously and knew that there had to be more to this than what he was telling him. “Ok I’ll bite Tic what the hell did you tell her so she wouldn’t go running to Ellie.”

“Oh that. Well I just told her that you and Jon were how can I put this. That you were a thing and that the only ones that knew were us and we didn’t want the press to know and well Ellie was just a front and that she was a good friend doing you two a favor seeing she had a kid to raise so she agreed to do this. And well Jon and you had this fight when he met her so Jon was trying to make you jealous so he was flirting with her and well when Jon gets drunk anything can happen and it did. So if she could just try and understand a lover’s quarrel and not let this out so the public wouldn’t get wind of this and if she could have a heart try and keep this as quiet as possible” he explained to Richie as he had his mouth open almost the entire time.

When he was able to talk he was able to get out, “You told her that Jon and I were Gay? Are you nuts Tic! You just gave her more ammo. What if she goes to the press and tells them that were gay? Then what?” Richie asked him panicked stricken.

“She won’t Rich she wanted to tell Ellie that he was having an affair with her not that he was gay believe me she wanted to hurt Jon not start a rumor about him. She won’t say anything believe me.” Tico assured him. 

“Well I’m not telling him what just happened here are you?” Richie asked him.

 “Nobody has to tell him anything Rich trust me on this ok. Remember when we were in that bar oh say a few years ago and that big dude walked up to him at the bar and tried to hit on him because he thought he was girl. Jon looked over at you for help because the guy was really aggressive and wouldn’t let up and wouldn’t let him go no matter how much Jon told him that he was a guy. So when he was starting to feel him so to speak down you got up when Jon squealed and you picked that guy up and threw him across the bar and the two of you ran like the devil. Nobody said anything to the press then because they would have been embarrassed right well the same thing will happen if she says anything because she doesn’t want anyone to know that she got rejected by someone who likes the same sex. I mean she’s a professional right?” Tico asked him. Richie shooked his head yes. “Well there you go so don’t worry about it and if something does happen you can blame me.” He told him.

“You better believe I will” Richie said as he slapped him on his back smiling.

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Jon had finished his dinner and was getting bored with what was on t.v. and he wasn’t in the mood to write. All he could do was think of his family back in Massachusetts. He knew Ellie was still upset and he couldn’t be of much help to her where he was. He knew this was part of the bargain he had to pay if he wanted to be one of the biggest rock stars of his era. (Now if he only knew what was about to happen.)  Finally he had enough and picked up the phone and called her.

It rang a few times before Sean answered it. He went and got his sister, “Hey Honey how are you doing?” she asked him.

“Lousey you?” he said almost as if he was pissed at the world.

“That good huh? Ok Sweetie what’s the matter.” She asked him.

“You’re not here.” He told her sighing.

“Yeah I feel the same way I’m having a hard time sleeping without you next to me. You really spoiled me now I know how my parents feel. Daddy is having a real hard time not having Mommy next to him right now. Just having her next to him you know her breathing, her body, just knowing that their together, God if something like that ever happens to you Jon I…I don’t know what I’d do.” She said choking up.

“Hey nothing is going to happen to me ok. I can’t even image what you’re parents are even going thru. But we really have a lot of time before something like that happens to us. Do me a favor and give them my love ok?” he asked her.

“I already did.” She told him smiling and sniffing.

“Thanks…How are you doing really?” He wanted to know.

“Better and she’s doing better. Daddy took some time off so I’m taking care of him basically but we’re going to have to figure out something when Mom comes home. Maybe bring someone in to help out or Beth will have to step up like I did when Mom had her first hip replacement. I hate to do it to her but I did it at fifteen so she can but if someone comes in too that should help and it won’t be that long either at least a couple of weeks. I need to get Jimmy back in school.” She explained to Jon.

“No I get it Babe you have a family of your own now and he comes first. You know there’s nothing wrong with that. And if you need extra money just let me know ok?” he told her.

“Thank You but the insurance will cover it. Do you know how much I love you?” she told him.

“Yeah I think I do. And if you were here I’d show you.” he growled to her.

“Oh don’t do that to me.” She whined.

“Fine but the next time I see you I’m going to fuck your brains out!”  he told her in a demanding voice.