Decisions Decisions???

Jon needed to answer this question not only carefully but sensitively. “Ellie we didn’t get back together right away. It took almost a year before we did. You can believe me or not but I was really upset when you left. The first month I didn’t even come out of my bedroom but only to work and play.” He started to tell her as he got up and poured himself some coffee. “You want your tea?” he asked and as she said yes he made her tea.

“Thanks, Jon I didn’t know I’m sorry. I basically did the same thing. Except I was crying for months on end. When they found out I was pregnant the doctors were worrying about the not eating, stress, emotional stress, the migraines you about name it. I was a mess, I had everyone worried. Especially when I went into premature labor.” She told him.

“Ellie I’m so sorry that I wasn’t there for you for that. I would have loved to have been there for that. Seeing my son coming into the world and being by your side that would have been wonderful.” Jon told her as he choked up.  

“Tell you a secret?” she asked him smiling.

“Yeah sure.” He said smiling back.

“I can’t tell you how many times I’ve dreamt of you being there. By my side. Me telling you that it was time and seeing your face and trying to get us to the hospital. I’ve ran it thru my head about a million times. Stupid huh?” she said as she got very quiet all of a sudden.

Walking up to her and putting his arms around her, “Hey it’s not stupid and I’m sorry it didn’t happen that way.” He told her kissing her on top of her head. “But I swear I’ll make this this right. Just give me a chance Ellie please. I never stopped loving you. Yes Dotty and I started things back up again for a few years but then with me trying to get a record deal and getting a band together was one thing. She stayed with me because I started to get some recognition in New Jersey and meeting Bruce Springsteen and Southside Johnny I was making connections. But then we got a manger his name is Doc McGhee and he started getting us real gigs you know with real acts. You know we’ve been overseas and we’re really becoming a hit over there.” He told her excitedly and she told him that was great and how proud she was of him. He always knew she had the faith in him and that Dorothea never had.

“That’s wonderful Jon. I know that’s everything you ever dreamed of. But I don’t understand are you or are you not still with her? I would think she would love to travel with you all around the world?” she asked him hoping that he sent her sailing.

“Well that’s what I’m trying to tell you. She never cared about me; she only cared about what I could give her. She proved that when I cut her off one day and gave her an allowance. She was spending way too much and my accountant was getting on my back about it so we sat her down and told her we were putting her on an allowance and she freaked. So I explained to her that she either takes the allowance or leaves.” He told her not really looking at her at this point seeing that he was embarrassed that he had taken her back and was explaining all this to her.

“Jon can I ask you a real personal question?” she asked him hoping he wouldn’t get mad at her.

Turning to look at her he told her, “Sure go ahead.”

“Did…did you love her?” she choked out.

Smiling, “In a small way I did. But not like the way I love you Ellie. Dot was always there for me. I guess deep down I’ve always felt I’ve used her. And she’s used me. So we’re even. But then this sandy blonde girl from Mass. came into my life and well she just hit me like a lightning bolt. Thought I could forget her but I really couldn’t. Fate has a strange way of reconnecting people doesn’t it?” he said to her.

“Yeah it does.” She said back to him trying so hard not to show him how she really felt but it wasn’t really working.  “So then she is out of the picture?” she asked him again.

“Yeah Ellie she out of the picture. I’m not seeing anyone right now except but a bunch of fans who want me as their own. And if you decided to come back to me the question to you is: Can you handle the pressure? The pressure of the fans that will be hounding us constantly and the paparazzi that will too. Because I don’t want to start something and then get burned if you can’t.” he said to her honestly.

“Jon I can’t answer that right now. I mean I see what the celebs go thru and the main question is do WE want to put Jimmy thru that? Personally I don’t think it will hurt him as long as we keep him grounded. But you want an answer what now?” she asked him angrily.

Sitting them down, “No I’m not asking you to answer me now. I know you have a job and that you want to give a notice because I want you to come on the road with me. So I need you to think this over Baby. If you truly love me I want you to think about this for a while then have an answer for me when I talk to you in a couple of weeks. When you’re ready I’ll come and get you and Jimmy and we’ll fly back when we’re playing our next gig. I don’t want to miss out any more time and years with my son or my girl.” He told her sincerely as he leaned into her and gently kissed her on her lips.

She let him kiss her for a few seconds then he backed off because he didn’t want to scare her. He knew there was something still that was bothering her because of some of her reactions during their time together that night. Sitting there quietly for a few minutes Jon broke the silence by asking her, “Um is there anything you want to tell me?”

“She looked at him and said, “Like what? I thought you said I could have a week to answer you?”

“I did but I think there’s something else bothering you. You’ve been antsy all night. Like if I came up behind you and touched you you would jump like a mile high even thou you knew it was me. What’s up with that?” he wanted to you.

“Oh that, it’s nothing really it’s just that I haven’t been out in a while or away from Jimmy and I’m a little distracted that’s all so I wasn’t paying attention so don’t make a big deal out of it.” She told him lying thru her teeth.

“Really?” Jon said giving her attitude.

“Yeah, oh come on. Fine that and Steve does this thing at work where he tries and scares the shit out of me by sneaking up behind me which sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t. I mean once I almost clocked him with a bolt holder, you know it holds fabric upright and it’s made of metal, anyway he sneaks up behind me screams and I turn around with it in my hand and miss his head maybe by an inch. Oh I would of gotten in so much trouble if I did clock him one because he would have ended up out cold and my ass in a sling while all the time he’s laughing like a loon.” She explained to Jon who wasn’t laughing. “You’re not laughing Jon?”

“It’s not funny Ellie. I asked you about this kid and you told me you weren’t seeing him. Are you and are you seeing anyone?” Jon wanted to know.

Looking at him annoyed now, “I told you I wasn’t seeing anyone. I don’t have time to. I told you Steve flirts with everyone and that he’s just a friend. Now if you want to do me a favor you come down and flaunt all over me and maybe even talk to Bob and get him off my back seeing that he bugs the crap out of me. Now him I wouldn’t care.” She told him strongly.

“Yeah you really wouldn’t care say if I came down this week and say I took you out for lunch?” he asked her smiling.

“No I wouldn’t mind and I usually go to lunch say about oneish because Shirley usually goes to lunch around twelve. And I really wouldn’t mind being seen with the most handsomest guy in the whole world.” she told him blushing. 

“Oh really you wouldn’t huh well when I see him I’ll tell him but in the meantime you’re stuck with me.” He told her smiling as he leaned in again to kiss her but a little bit longer this time. As he was kissing her he moved in closer and wrapped his arms around her so she would be close to him. Ellie’s head was spinning and her emotions were all over the place. She felt Jon wrap his arms around her and it had been so long that he had done that. He was the one. The one that took her heart and ran with it. Not like the others who thought they did then stomped on it. A couple she could understand they were too young to take her on and a young child but…the mistake of her life she hope would be gone for good. They both were forgetting themselves and Jon started pushing her down on her back as he went to lay on her and move his hand up her blouse when she jumped.  Jon immediately shot up and got off of her with an ‘I’m sorry face’. Helping Ellie to sit up, “I’m really sorry Ellie I guess I went to fast but I…I just wanted you so bad that I forgot myself.” He apologized.

Looking him in his blue eyes, “It’s ok Jon it’s not that I wouldn’t want to but I don’t think it’s the right time yet. Plus I really do need to get home because if Jimmy wakes up during the night and I’m not there he’ll freak out. Plus I didn’t set anything in motion for me to be gone all night so he thinks I coming home as do my parents.” She told him kind of apologetic herself because if she didn’t have Jimmy she could have stayed the night and they both knew it.

“No I get it really I do. I mean I would love you to stay don’t get me wrong but he comes first. You seem like you’re a great Mom Ellie. So I’ll call you when I can in a day or two ok?” he told her even thou he didn’t want to let her go.

“Fine. Jon you’ll have your chance to be a Dad to him but you have to give yourself a chance to know that you’re going to be a great Dad, and you will.” She told him as she gave him a hug and he hugged her back. They stood there for a few minutes before they parted and Jon drove her home. He walked her to the door as it was around one a.m. and the kitchen lights were still on.

“Looks like someone is still up.” Jon told her looking into the kitchen window as they stood on the little platform by the backdoor.

“It’s probably just one of the kids, Beth and Chick still have curfews so it looks like it should be one of them why you worried?” she asked him as she pulled him to her and he wrapped his arms around her.

“No I’m not worried. Why should I be worried? Let’s see I just knocked up their daughter and never got in touch with her or was there for her in her time of need and now I standing with her at the back door five years later trying to make out with her again. Yeah I’m not worried one bit that I’m going to get my ass kicked.” He said smart assy.

“They know the whole story not that their thrilled about it but they know it’s not your fault. Plus they all love Jimmy and me so…if they want us in their lives they have to be nice to you too.” She told him as she started to nibble on his chin.

“Oh you are making this harder for me to leave you know that don’t you?” he told her as he finally took her mouth and gave her a proper goodbye. After a few minutes they parted and Jon said to her, “We will make this work I promise you Ellie. I know we’re young but we’ll show them. I love you Babe.” He told her still holding her tight.

Tearing up, “I love you too Jon I really do. Good night.” Kissing her one last time he finally let go and walked to the car. Ellie waved good bye and went into the house as Chick was in the kitchen eating his PB and J and milk.

“Oh I love you Jon (making kissy noises and then laughing). You two trying to start something up again? Because won’t it be hard if he’s on the road?” Chick asked her still giggling.

“You’re a shit. And we’re still in the talking stages. It’s going to take some time because it means taking Jimmy out of his environment that has been safe for him into something that’s well hectic you know and tonight well he did ask me but I didn’t want to get into all that just yet. I mean we just met again after five years you know but the best thing is we still have the same feeling for each other. Did you see Jimmy at all when you got home?” she asked him.

“No I just got home about ten minutes before you two did. Sean’s upstairs with him in your bed I believe. Beth got home early but Sean was already with Jimmy here Mom left you a note.” Chick gave it to her.

She read the note just saying that Sean had worn Jimmy out and the two of them fell asleep in her bed and not to worry. “Ok then well I’m going to bed then I’m going to see if I can squeeze into my bed. I don’t want to wake the two of them up. Unless I can put Jimmy in his without waking him. Now I know how Mom felt when she had at least four of us in the bed during thunderstorms. “ Ellie chuckled.

“Yeah but we did it.” Chick said proudly.

“Yes we did. And at times even when Daddy was there. But Joe was too good to come in with us always the big shot.” Ellie said laughing.

“I don’t know about that I just don’t think he could find a place to fit because he was always last. Remember he could sleep thru anything.” He told her as they were reminiscing. Ellie went upstairs and saw them both in her bed and smiled. She wished Jon could see this. Jimmy looked like a little angel sleeping next to his Uncle. Ellie grabbed her night clothes and went to bed happy for the first time in a long time.

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Jon got back to the Hotel and his feelings were all over the place. When he got up to his room it was still empty which he was glad because he really didn’t feel like answering questions right now. He stripped down and put on his sweats and a T and grabbed a beer and hopped into bed. He just let the night replay in his head and how much he really wanted her to stay the night. No how much he really needed her to stay the night. He closed his eyes as he laid there in the quiet for a while hoping to get a handle if she will decided to come on the road with him. The only problem will be Doc and the guys and if they’ll have a problem with him having his family with him touring. His family. He kept saying that over and over in his head. About twenty-five minutes later the door open and a very sated and feeling good Richie Sambora came into the room.

“Hey Kidd you’re home early oh or is she in the bathroommm?” he asked him a little wobbly.

“Hey Rich, no I drove her home a little while ago. Why are you back this early? I thought you’d be out all night?” he asked him.

“Well I didn’ttt think you were gonna be well you know, so I came home.” He told him as he flopped on his bed.

“Well I see that you had a good time right?” Jon asked him seeing that he seemed very happy.

“Ohh yeah this girl was Oh God I thought she was going to kill me Jon. She could do things Whoa! Anyway I just wanted to wake up in my own bed and I know we have rehearsal early right? Well that’s what I told her anyway.” He said as he sounded as he was starting to drift off.

“Yeah for you it’s early it’s in the afternoon so make sure you sleep real good. I’ll see you when you wake up.” Jon said as he chuckled.

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Jon and the guys had interviews with the band RATT and rehearsals and played for two nights in a row at the Centrum. They were almost sold out shows and RATT’s management had found out that thru the grapevine that the kids were loving Bon Jovi. They only had about forty-five minutes on stage every night but they pushed it as far as they could before RATT’s stage crew would start to hover around the stage to get them off. Jon didn’t care he’d push the limits to get his band noticed. Stephen came running over and started screaming at Doc. “GET YOUR GOD DAMN GUYS THE FUCK OFF MY STAGE!”

Roger the guy’s band manger was trying to calm Stephen down. “Stephen Jesus calm the hell down will you. You guys don’t go on for at least another thirty minutes so there’s plenty of time for you to get your instruments all set before you go on. So they’re show boating a little let them have it the crowd is going wild for them you remember what it was like.” Roger told him trying hard to make him remember.  

“Well I don’t fucking care this is my show so Doc keep your fucking animals under control or they’re off this tour!” Stephen screamed at McGhee.

“What’s the matter Pearcy afraid of a little competition? You know damn well my guys can dance rings around you. Oh and by the way you kick my boys off this tour and I’ll sue you for everything you guys are worth we have a contract remember?” Doc told them smiling like the goose who just laid the golden egg.

“Just get them the fuck under control then!” he yelled as he stomped off.

Doc turned to their manager Roger, “You tell your smartass little fucking diva that if he ever threatens my guys again well let’s just say that will be the last thing he ever does.” Well Roger just gave him a look and ran off to see if he could calm him down. The guys finally made their final bows and came running off the stage sweating but still energized and they knew that they had done one hell of a show. They headed to the back to get some water and food before they hit the showers.

“That was awesome! Did you guys see how the crowd was going wild for us!” David yelled.

“No kidding right? Not only can’t I hear but I think I went extra hard on the screaming tonight because I was trying to sing over they’re screaming.” Jon said excitedly.

“Well I nearly lost it when those two girls in front flashed us. And Jon I saw you trip when they did that. Ha ha ha.” Richie said laughing.

“Yeah yeah yeah I thought Alec was going to jump in with them.” Jon said laughing back.

“Yeah I would have if I could. But I think they would have eaten me alive.” Alec was laughing just as hard too.

 Just then Doc came walking in. “Well you guys were on fire tonight. We have one more show the day after tomorrow so you can rest up. Doing two shows in a row and you’re not even slowing down like those guys are. But you’re going to have to stick to our agreement and keep your gigs to forty-five minutes because Mr. Hissy Pants is having a hissy every time you go over your time. And he’s threatening to break our contract if you don’t stop.” Doc told them.

“Oh come on it doesn’t take that long to set up their stuff and it’s only two songs Doc.” Jon told him bitching about it.

“Hey come on think of it what if you guys were in their shoes and they were doing it to you? Right? So keep it to the allotted time and there won’t be any trouble. Ok go get showered up so I can present you at the after party.” He told them.

Jon thought over what Doc had said to him while he was getting cleaned up. He guess he could be a little more thoughtful. Maybe. When the show was over and everyone was at the after party there were people floating around the room talking and Doc was trying to make connections for the guys. Everyone seemed to be paired off except Jon as he was sitting alone on one of the couches with a drink in his hand. Doc saw this and thought that wasn’t right and decided to send someone over to him to talk to him and hopefully more Doc thought. He felt this wasn’t Jon since his break up with Dorothea. Jon was just watching things as he liked to do when this girl walked up to him.

“Hi my name is Mindy mind if I sit down?” she asked him.

Jon looked around and didn’t think it would hurt things so, “No be my guess.”

“Thanks. You’re that lead singer in the band that went on before the main act right?” she asked him.

Saying to himself, ‘Great she doesn’t even know the names of our bands. This should lead to an interesting conversation.’ “Yeah I’m the lead singer in the band Bon Jovi. My name is Jon.” He just shooked his head.

“Well lead singer in the band Bon Jovi how would you like to take me back to somewhere quiet?” she asked him.

He saw a couple of the guys looking at him talking to this girl and he was getting the thumbs up. They were also smashed. Just then these guys and kid walked over to him and one of them was the manager of the Centrum and a pal of his and his son.

“Oh sorry Jon I don’t want to disturb you but Dan and his son Wayne are just about leaving and they wanted to say goodnight.” He explained to him.

Jon wasn’t bothered at all by this interruption and was happy to talk to them for however long it took. But Dan had to get going for he had work in the morning and Wayne was getting out of school seeing it was really late. As they were leaving Dan even gave Mindy the once over as she was a beautiful blonde and very stacked. When he got home he might have mentioned it to his wife as Wayne had overheard them when he went to bed. It bothered Wayne all night because one of the reasons Wayne wanted to meet Jon was one: he was on top of all the metal music but two he wasn’t sure that his best friend was telling him the truth that his sister had dated him but with Jon sitting there with another girl other than Ellie how was he going to tell Sean now that Jon was cheating on her.