Reflections

It’s been a couple of days now and Ellie and Jon so far have spent it together quietly as the workers were fixing the fenced area so no one could get back in again and Jared and Ben were installing camera’s around the property in that area also. And as Ellie suggested they were having the barn renovated into a security office and sleeping area so that they could monitor everything from there instead on intruding on their privacy in the house. Jon just wasn’t with that at all seeing when he was on the phone with Ellie one night and heard Jared walking into their bedroom well that was the last straw for him. The Sambora’s were taking care of Jimmy and they were going over every day for dinner so they could see him and especially for Jon because he was only here for just a while before he had to return to Vancouver.

“Mr. and Mrs. S. Thank you so much for taking care of Jimmy for us we really do appreciate everything you’re do for us.” Jon told them as they were having coffee and tea after dinner as Jimmy was playing with Buddy. “Oh and thanks again for taking Buddy too with all the work that’s going on and well with Jimmy being here…” but Adam stopped him.

“Jon we’re glad to help out. With Richie away it’s nice to have a little one again in the house. Plus at the rate he’s going I don’t think he’s going to make us Grandparents any time soon.” Adam laugh.

Jon just laughed at that only because they really try like hard to make sure that they don’t. Just then Ellie and Joan walked in with the trays.

Joan asked, “So what are you two talking about?”

“We were talking about your son making us Grandparents.” Adam told her laughing.

“Oh well that will be the day. He likes be single too much.” she huffed.

“Ms. S. believe me he’s seen Jon and I together and I think he may be getting ready.” Ellie told her smiling.

“First of all will you two please call us Joan and Adam I think you two have earned it and I’ll believe it when I see it.” She told them smiling.

“Fine we will and you never know some girl just might wrangle Richie.” Ellie said as she took Jon’s hand in hers. Jon looked at her and smiled widely back at her and squeezed her hand.

“Yeah you never know but this one is taken.” He said as he pulled her hand up to his mouth and kissed the back of her hand.

“Well I’m glad you two are in a good mood because I need to ask you a question so please don’t get angry with me.” Joan asked a little concerned.

“Joan why would we get angry?” Ellie asked her confused.

“Because Jon your mother called me the other day and wanted me to ask the both of you if it was possible for another visit with Jimmy.” She told them. She could see how the two of them stiffen up and could see the anger in Jon’s eyes. “Now wait she was afraid to ask you Jon because the last time she talked to you well you blew her off. Now why don’t you think about it before you leave again and if you want we can do it here ok? But she does know she can’t come here or she’ll lose her chance to ever see him.”

“Thanks we we’ll think it over.” He told them.

They spent a little more time with Jimmy then read him his story and tucked him in for the night. They didn’t talk much on the way home but Ellie did snuggle up to him in the car. He didn’t realize how much he missed this. Once home they met with Jared and Ben in the kitchen.

“Oh hey guys how did the rest of the day go?” Ellie asked them as Jon looked on as he got his beer.

“Great the work is going very well. The fence is fixed and secured and we went around to the rest of it and everything else looked fine but we had them check just to make sure. And we also told them that we want them to come back every year to check it just in case if the fans ever do tamper with it.” Ben told her.

“Plus we got the cameras up in the back area so we can see if anyone tries to get in that way and we’ll start putting more in so we can monitor the whole back yard. We already have the side yards done if you want to check.” Jared explained to Jon as he was listening intently to everything they were saying.

“So if say this happens again the police will be call automatically even before you guys get to the house then?” he asked them.

They looked at each other and knew it wasn’t a question of him not trusting them but just making sure his family was safe.

“Yes Jon the police will be notified instantly at the same time we are so don’t worry.” Ben assured him.

“So we’ll leave the two of you alone then unless there is anything else?” Jared asked them.

“No we’re all set thanks guys.” Ellie as they all said goodnight. Ellie waited for them to leave and then she turned to Jon and asked, “Ok what was all that about huh?” as she walked up to him and put her arms around him.

“What?” he asked her as he kissed her forehead.

“You know damn what. Questioning them about their job. I already explained that to you so what was up with all of that?” she asked him again as she was giving him butterfly kisses on his chest.

“I can’t think when you do that you know?” he told her as he ran his hands down her back now.

“Ok stopping. Now tell me.” she said to him as she looked up at him as he whined.

“Oh come on I liked that.” He told her as he was rubbing her back.

“Well if you like it so much then answer the question.” she told him smiling as she ran her tongue over her lips.

“Oh that’s not fair. Fine I was putting them on the spot ok? And do they have to be here every fucking five minutes of our day? I mean come on.” He spat out to her letting her go.

“I thought it was something like this. Jon you’re not a jealous guy so what’s up with this?” she asked him curious.

“I just think it’s about me being away from the two of you and you thinking that I could be cheating on you. Plus we still haven’t settled on a date.” He said as she looked at him strangely.

“Whoa wait a minute I thought we couldn’t set a date because if this album comes out there is no way we could get married in a church so why set a date. That just doesn’t make sense right?” she asked him really confused now.

“Well we could set something up between you and I couldn’t we? Like a time frame of when you would like to get married. Because I have a sneaking suspicion that maybe you don’t really want to get married.  That maybe you like things the way they are. So if things get tough you can just take Jimmy and leave whenever you want to.” He told her finally. He needed to get that off of his chest because he didn’t know whether to tell her or not how he felt.

She stood there as she felt shell shock that he felt that way. He never said anything to her that he felt like this before.

“Oh I didn’t know you felt this way I mean I thought you felt this way so I never brought it up.” She said looking into space.

“Why didn’t you think I felt this way? I was asking you about things before you know that. Especially Jimmy’s birth certificate. I haven’t really forced you into putting my name as father on it have I?” he asked her.

“No you haven’t and I appreciate that.” She told him as she took a deep breath.

“You do know I could have sued you over it right? Gotten a DNA test done and everything?” he said to her.

Well that’s when her head popped up and stared at him like she could kill him as he stood there. Now her voice was stern and cold.

“Are you telling me that you would have sued me for custody Jon? That you would have taken our son away from me!” she asked him as she was ready for a fight.

Jon saw the change in her immediately and he would have laughed if it wouldn’t have pissed her off. “God you’re like a Mother Lioness aren’t you? No I’m not going to take Jimmy from you that’s the last thing I want to do so calm down Baby.” He said to her as he walked over to her to take her hand but she stepped away from him.

“Then why did you say it?” she wanted to know.

“I said it wrong and I’m sorry. I’ve been saying a lot wrong lately. It’s just that we really haven’t talked about it or putting me on his birth certificate. I mean what if something happens to you. Does he go back to your parents? I mean that would be fine but I’m his father but legally I’m not. Don't you understand that Baby?” he explained to her.

“Oh God I really didn’t think of it like that Jon I mean he only really knows my folks but you are his father and if something did…I didn’t do it on purpose I was just mad you know and didn’t want…” she started to cry and Jon embraced her in his arms.

“I know I get it I really do. But we’re together now and we need to fix a few things ok? So when the album is done we have a little bit of time before we have to go on tour. Since being cooped up together for two months we have a little time so how about we take off for Vegas and make everything legal?” he asked her.

“Are you sure I mean Doc’s going to have a cow you know that right? I mean at the start of a world tour his lead singer being married? I don’t know Jon I really don’t.” she told him unsure.

“Hey are you trying to get out of this?” he asked her a little worried.

“Jon I told you no I just don’t want you to get in trouble that’s all.” She told him again.

“Look it’s my band and Doc works for me. So if he wants to continue to work for me he’ll suck it up. As for the guys they love you and Jimmy and will be thrilled that I’m happy and probably get off my case. Look if you want I’ll make all of the arrangements ok.” He asked her as he ran his fingers over her face.

“Why do I love you so much? You know I never stopped.” She told him as tears were running down her face now.

Wiping them away, “I know I never stopped loving you either. I had always hoped that we would find each other again but I never thought that you would give me such a gift like you did. Ellie thank you so much for Jimmy but more than anything thank you for letting me back into your life.” As he said that he bent down and kissed her as passionately as he could. She clung onto him as tight as she could for her legs felt like they were going to give out from underneath her. Finally parting “Are you ok Babe?” he asked her concerned.

“Oh yeah more than you know. I do love you so much Jon and just give me chance to get use to your life please. It’s not easy listening to the news or when I call you and some stupid let’s just say “person” picks up your phone and tells me things that they want me to hear that you may or not be doing. Then the quiet here gets to me and all I do is think you know.” She started to tell him.

“Hey, hey, hey I know it happens to me too why do you think I got all upset over well you know? But why don’t we just forget everything that’s happened and start over ok? Let’s just forgot what was said or done and we’ll go from here ok? I just don’t want to go on tour with bad feelings between us because I know you won’t say anything to me will you? You’ll just go along like everything is fine just to make me happy right?” he asked her smiling.

“Well maybe but I am starting to come in to my own you know.” She told him playing with his chest again.

“No you just speak up when someone is threatening your family. But when it comes to you, you cower. Look I don’t want you to think I’m bulling you like Michael did. I want you to speak up for yourself.” He told her honestly.

“Oh my God Jon I don’t think you bully me. Where did you get that from!” she asked him scared.

“No Babe I said I don’t want you to think I’m bully you calm down. You see what he has done to you? Your mind and listening skills sometimes go ahead of yourself and you have to stop that. Like when we were just talking about the birth certificate. You got your defenses up so fast it made your head spin. I want to be your husband and father to our son and be the family that we should be.” He explained again as he kissed her again this time lightly on her lips.  Parting, “So what do you say we go upstairs and just relax and see where the night takes us?” He said wagging his eyes.

Laughing, “Sure my Rockstar why not. I can’t think of anything else I wouldn’t want to do.” She said as they took each other’s hands and went upstairs to their room.

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The renovation of the house was winding down but the barn renovation was still going on and Ellie told Jared and Ben that they would have to overlook that seeing they would be working and living there. Just keep her informed on everything that needs to be ordered and of any fees. Jon was fine with that seeing he wasn’t going to be around much longer.

Jon was in his office and was still making little adjustments to it to make himself comfortable there as he just got off the phone. He looked like he had just swallowed the canary as he had made his final arrangements for this weekend.

Just then the phone rang again, “Hello?  Doc yeah, yeah don’t worry just have whoever send the itinerary over to each of us and we’ll all be there. Doc we’ve been thru this before we know how to do this. Yes I’ll call the guys before we’re supposed to leave if that makes you feel better. Alright I have to go I’ll talk to you before we leave ok bye Doc.” Jon chuckled as he hung up the phone. He knew Doc was getting antsy as he was making his pre-nervous breakdown call before they were to head out. He also knew this wasn’t going to be the only one there will be several more in the coming days.

Jon went in search of his girl but she wasn’t on the first floor. So he high tailed it upstairs and he walked into their bedroom and still didn’t see her and was about to leave when he noticed the French doors on his side of the bed ajar. He walked over to them and saw her sitting in one of the chairs drinking her tea and looking out over the back yard.

Clearing his throat so he wouldn’t scare her too much, “Hey Babe whatcha doing out here?” he asked her as he pulled up the other chair close to her.

“Well the sun doesn’t hit here til noon time which is actually good if I want to sit out here like this in the morning or the evening.” She said as she sipped her tea.

Looking at her he knew there was something bothering her. “A penny for your thoughts?”

Smiling and giggling, “Sure what do you want to know?” she asked looking at him as her heart skips a beat.

“Alright what’s bothering you?” he asked concerned.

“Well I miss our son I think he can come home now don’t you? The outer work on the barn is basically finished and we should talk about your Mother.” She told him.

“Why did you want to talk about her?” he asked confused.

“Well I’ve been thinking about that. I think I’ve been carrying this vendetta a bit too far. Since the last time your parents came over Jimmy has been asking some questions about them. Well he is older now and smart as a whip and he knows that I have a Mommy and Daddy but he doesn’t understand why you don’t. And since you’ve come back into our lives and well they have he’s confused. And I want to make it not only right for him but for you.” She told him as she looked into her cup as tears ran down her face.

Jon felt for her because he really didn’t help the situation either being away and/or agreeing with her to. He also was the one that helped in the situation in getting her pregnant so he felt guilty just like she did.

“El we were just kids when all this happened. I think enough guilt has been spread around for the last what eight and half years now. We have to let it go.” He told her as he held her hand in his but all he wanted to do was hold her in his arms and never let her go.

“Well I do too Jon and that’s why I think we should have your parents over again to see Jimmy. I think we should make amends with them and slowly acclimate them in his life.” She told him still staring into space.

“Well if you’re sure then I’ll do whatever you want you know that. But I want you to be ok with it El because you were the one hurt by it the most. I didn’t go into labor or have to raise him without me.” He told her as she just looked at him with her version of the stink eye. “Yes I know you had your family but that still doesn’t cut it. I should have been there and you know it.” He told her as he rubbed her thigh as he was just as upset as she was.

“You know when we were driving away that day I wanted to die. You standing there I just wanted to jump out of the car and run back to you and jump in your arms. But instead all I did was cry all the way home as my Mom tried to talk to me but I wouldn’t say anything to her.” She told him looking into his blue eyes and holding onto his hand.

“Yeah well I couldn’t move just staring at the car and watching it leave as it was getting smaller and smaller and then when it was gone I don’t know how long I was standing there until Marcia came out and finally sent me on my way. Real cool right?” he told her smiling and held her hand just as tight.

She was smiling and crying at the same time when he said that to her as she pictured that in her mind. “Jon promise me one thing ok?”

 “Sure Baby anything what?” he said to her as he would promise anything that he possibly and physically could do.

“That no matter what we will listen to our children and support them in anything they what to do. And when it comes to relationships we will always listen to them and talk to them about it before we say no.” she told Jon.

Well Jon started laughing. “Before we say no?” he asked her questionably.

“Well of course we can’t let them think we’re easy can we? Besides from experience we know what can happen so, I don’t...Honey no little shit is going near any of our daughters and you’re going to read the riot act to our sons plain and simple. And if you don’t do it then I will and I don’t care if I embarrass them either because I’m not going to be a Grandmother like my Mom was at an early age no way. Of course it would be a lot easier for them than it was for me but no way in Hell!” Ellie told Jon flat out.

“Ok Baby whatever you say. Now I have something to tell you.” He said to her.

“What? What is it? You look like you’re about to burst.” She told smiling.

“How would you like to go to Vegas this weekend?”