I Confess

Looking her in the eyes he said, “Oh my God you know Alec he doesn’t know what the hell he’s saying when he’s drunk. He could have heard any of the girl’s say they were with me and bragging that they were doing me just to get some credit. They all were out to do me. I can’t believe you’re going by that.” He told her almost laughing at her.

Looking at him she couldn’t believe that he was trying not to laugh at her when she told him. “Are you getting a good laugh at this? Is this how it’s going to be? I explain to you how I feel or how I find things out and you laugh at me? I would never do that to you Jon. I would always hear you out then discuss it. But never make you feel foolish. Dinner’s ready if you want it.” She told him and left him standing in the middle of the bedroom.

He finished dressing and went down to the kitchen as he could smell the food coming from there. Ellie could cook some even thou they did hire a cook but she wasn’t on tonight. Walking in the oven was turned off and sitting on the counter was a chicken with veggies on the range and rice but no Ellie. He walked over to the Pantry and looked in there and that was empty too. So was the bathroom off the side. So he took a walk thru out the house she had to be somewhere. As he did he really liked what he saw. He couldn’t have liked it any better if he did this himself then when he walked into the music room. His mouth dropped as he looked around and saw what she did. Everything he would have put in here that he would have. He couldn’t believe what a wonderful job she did and she did it all for him. Leaving the Music room he went down the hall and as he was walking past this one door he heard some noise coming from it. So he quietly opened the door enough to peek in and saw Ellie working in there opening a box and setting some shelves up.

Opening the door wider he startled her. “Hey I’m sorry El I didn’t mean to scare you. You need help with that?” he asked her about the shelf.

Looking at him, “No I’m fine so did you eat?” she asked him?

“No I came looking for you first but it looked good. Why don’t you come back with me and we’ll talk over dinner ok?” he asked her as he looked around the room. “Babe is this room going to be what I think?”

“Yeah why? You going to make cracks about it? I figured there’s enough rooms in this place that I could have my own room.” She told him.

“No it’s fine really you know I don’t care you can have all the rooms you want. I saw the Music room thank you it’s beautiful Babe.” He told her not knowing if he should approach her.

“You like it? Good I was hoping you would. That’s why I need this and I know you’re going to put your recording studio in I didn’t think you would care if I had an Elvis room.” She told him.

“No I told you; you can have whatever you want. Now come on let’s go eat.” He said as he took her hand and they headed towards the kitchen.

Setting up their dinner at the kitchen table Jon decided he would start. “So Babe I’m sorry that I laughed at you upstairs I really didn’t mean to. So you want to ask me questions go ahead.” he told her while taking a bite.

“Jon I think you know my question did you or did you not have sex with any of those strippers?” she asked him out right.

“No not sex just oral. And it was on their part to me.” he finally told her but knew if he told her the entire truth she would leave him in an instant.

Pushing away her dinner, “So they did oral on you?” she asked him as he shooked his head yes. “Even thou you knew how I felt about that?” Again Jon shooked his head yes. Remember what her brother told her she was really trying very hard to put herself in his shoes and feeling the way he would have being away from his loved ones for long periods of times. “So I guess phone sex with me wasn’t doing it anymore for you huh?” she asked him a little angrily.

“El what do you want me to say to that? Of course not I loved our phone sex and I love our love making together. (getting up and walking over to her) I’ve never ever had a more loving, sexier, beautiful, and adventurous partner than you before or ever will because I want you to be by my side til the day I die don’t you get that?” he said to her as he knelt down beside her.

“I thought I did Jon but I’m not so sure now. I love you so much that it hurts sometimes but if you need more than I can give you…” she started to say as she teared up.

“No, no that’s not what I said. You are more than I’II ever want. You said you talked to your brother what did you mean by that? Joe? Because he doesn’t like me, what did he tell you to leave me? He told you to leave me didn’t he?” He asked her getting pissed.

Looking at him as she was now getting angry at him, “No Jon he didn’t. He actually explained to me why guys cheat or don’t cheat but get some like you did. And told me to cut you some slack. So don’t blame Joey he’s a fucking guy and sided with you. But he did tell me to go with my heart so…Oh and that if he needed me he would kick your ass for me any time. That he would love to do.” She told him getting up from the table as Jon stood up as well.  

“Yeah I bet he would. Sorry I didn’t know he did that. Did it help you any to talk to him?” he asked her while he had his fingers crossed.

“What that it was ok for you to cheat on me? No it didn’t. Because stupid me somewhere in the back of my head I still didn’t think you would do that to me. Boy was I naïve huh?” she said to him rolling her eyes.

“Ellie I made a huge mistake I admit that ok? But it was only oral sex it wasn’t like I was making love to them.” He told her as he tried to touch her as she moved away from him.

“How can I make you understand this oral sex is sex. It’s still an intimate act. We do it and believe me for me you can’t get more intimate than putting your God Damn face in someone’s private area’s Jon!” she loudly told him.

He stood there knowing damn well she was right and feeling like a heel on top of it. But he had to tell her something or she would find out that it was more than oral sex he was having with those strippers. It wasn’t that he didn’t love her, he loved her more than anything but life on the road was lonely and she couldn’t be there for him twenty-four seven. And he figured what she didn’t know wouldn’t hurt her, until now.

“Ellie I didn’t do this to hurt you I would rather cut off my right arm than hurt you. You know I could have lied to you you know but I didn’t I came clean doesn’t that count for anything?” he asked her giving her those royal blue eyes of his.

She looked him straight into those royal blue eyes of his and told him, “I don’t know Jon, Michael cheated on me all the time and he just expected me to accept it. You seem to want me to accept it to. Then what are you going to walk all over me too?” she asked him as he looked at her shocked.

“How the hell can you even compare me to that pig!” he yelled at her as he was insulted at her statement.

“Well easy that’s how Michael started with the little things like promising me he wouldn’t be doing it again then telling me this or that. Oh and when I caught him again and accused him after he hit me and said he wouldn’t do that again and Joe and Chick had to take me to the hospital one night when he nearly killed me. Oh right you saw my back.” She spit at him.”

“Oh My God! You think I’m going to hit you!” he yelled back at her.

“You didn’t get what I’m saying do you? If I let you slide on one thing then you’ll slide on other things Jon! They just snowball like Michael did. Because if I left him when he cheated on me in the first place when everyone told me too I wouldn’t have had to go thru the thing I did. So my question to you is Are you going to put me thru the shit he did! Because if you are then I’m taking Jimmy and getting the hell out of here now!” she told him as tears ran down her face.

Jon was frozen where he stood. He really didn’t think what he had done would affect her the way it had.  He just wasn’t thinking. Well he was but with the wrong body part. Finally being able to move he walked up to her and wrapped his arms around her tight as she cried into his chest.

“Baby I’m so sorry I didn’t realize…I’m such a jerk…we can work this out I know we can please don’t lose faith in me…I know I can make this right if you just give me half a chance.” he told her rubbing her back while she still cried in his arms as tears were falling down his cheeks. They stood there for a little while when finally Ellie started to pull away from him. Her face was red and puffy especially her eyes as they were really red.  His eyes were puffy and red.

“I’m not really hungry and my head is really killing me so I’m going upstairs and take something for it and lay down so could you put the food in the frig for me?” she asked him.

“Yeah sure no problem you go rest and I’ll be up in a little bit ok?” he told her.

Jon put the food away and decided to take a little tour of the house so that way it would give her some time to relax and get her headache under control and to calm down some.

Ellie went back to their bedroom and put on her P.J.’s, took her med’s and crawled into bed. Her head was throbbing so bad she just wanted to cut it off. The darkness helped some and she tried to slow her breathing down some also. She also tried to mediate to see if that would help. It helped to a point that she fell asleep. So a half hour later Jon went upstairs to check on her and found her sound asleep. Well that went his night that he had planned when he got home. So he went back down stairs and maybe he could find something on t.v. to watch. His studio wasn’t up and running but he did get bored enough he could always go into the music room and goof around in there. He went into the liquor cabinet to see if she had it stock yet but no she hadn’t just his luck. No booze in the house. Great. This is going to be one hell of a long night.

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Morning came and Jon woke up in the chair in the Den with the t.v. still on.  His back was killing him as he was in a sitting position all night. He got up slowly as he had his hand on his lower back and stretching as he got up. Walking over to the t.v. he turned it off and walked in the kitchen to start his coffee. The aroma from the coffee pot helped him a little to wake up but mostly when he poured himself a cup and that hot dark golden liquid hit him that was what finally help to wake him up and give him the nerve to go upstairs to see how Ellie was this morning.

Walking up the stairs and then down the hall he approached their bedroom. Taking a deep breath he turned the knob and opened the door. Walking in he sees her asleep in their bed. Walking over to her side of the bed and sitting next to her he couldn’t help but stare at her. He noticed that all the puffiness was gone and how beautiful she looked laying there. Caressing her cheek and arm he was thinking of the time when he talked her into going out with him finally and when he kissed her for the first time. He knew right then and there that she had his heart.

Slowly her eyes started to flutter open and saw him staring down at her. “Hi.” She said groggily.

“Hi sleepy head. How are you feeling?” he asked her concerned.

“A little bit better. I woke a little while ago to take something else so yeah I feel a bit better.” She told him.

“That’s good, you want something like your tea?” he asked her.

“That’s ok I can get up and get it myself but thanks.” She told him as she sat up.

“Ok…can I ask you something? (she shooked her head yes) Are we ok here?” he wanted to know.

“Well it depends doesn’t it? Are you going to keep fooling around on me? Are you going to find some whore to satisfy your needs when I’m not there Jon? Because if you are then no were not ok Jon but if you want to try and work things out and really stay celibate to one person then we’ll be ok.” She told him honestly.  

“Of course I do Baby. I asked you to marry me didn’t I? I let things get out of hand and I’m so sorry Baby I really am I didn’t mean to let them get that out of hand. I can make up excuses to you but that’s not going to make it right and I know it. I love you so much that’s why I came home to tell you this and so we could talk.” He explained to her as he took her hand.

“Yeah I guess you could have made excuses so why didn’t you?” she asked him wondering.

“Well I could have but then you would have probably found out anyway and then really hated me and I wasn’t going to take that chance. I thought it would be better if you heard the truth from me. Right?” he hoped.

Smiling, “Yeah I guess, so you came home just to tell me you fucked up? Not that you were driving the guys nuts like you said?” she asked him giving him the eye.

“Well maybe a little bit of both?” he grinned.

“Yeah right?” she told him as she started to get up but he stopped her. “Hey I want to get my tea.” She told him.

“Not quite yet. There’s a little matter of the makeup sex.” He told her as he wiggled his eyes at her.

“Oh really now and how did you come up with this?” she asked him with her sternest face.

Not knowing if she was kidding or not he thought he would just go with it. “Really? Well after a fight we always have makeup sex. And if I do say so myself we do it pretty well.” He sounded like a wounded little boy and she was really trying not to laugh at his little act.

“Oh my poor little baby. Just because you came clean to me doesn’t mean you’re getting some.” She told him smiling as she patted him on the cheek.

Well that did it for Jon. He knew right there she was giving it to him and not in the fun way either. So as she was about to get up he grabbed her and threw her down and laid one on her that curled her toes. To say she was surprised yes because she knew that he knew that she was still annoyed with him. So she tried to get up but he grabbed her arms and pinned them above her head. So she tried to speak but all it did was come out garbled. Finally he released her mouth after giving it a good once over as her head was spinning and then he started down her neck as she was trying to catch her breath. But as he was licking her neck and leaving little love bites down it to her collar bone to her shoulder and before he got to her breasts she was finally able to blurt out, “Um Jon, Jon…could we have a time out please?” she asked him all jumbled.

Jon was a little busy enjoying himself as he had waited all day and night for this so all she got for her trouble was a mumbled No as he continued what he was doing to her. She wasn’t very shocked that he wasn’t listening to her because she knew once he got into one of these moods there was no way of talking sense into him at the moment. Plus she was still having a hard time thinking straight anyway and it was becoming very hard for her to stay angry at him. He was now getting really annoyed with her shirt that was in his way to what was his goal. Eagerly he started to pull at her t-shirt to pull it off of her as it came roughly off of her head.

“Sorry Babe.” He told her breathing heavily now as he bent down and clamped on one of her nipples and sucked a little too hard as she let out a yelp. Again he told her sorry and licked and kissed it and sucked her breast a little more gently now as Ellie was sighing and giggling at the same time. When he heard her giggling he stopped and lifted his head with an inquisitive look and asked her, “El what’s so funny? I mean I’m trying to be all romantic here and you’re laughing at me?” he asked her curious and maybe his manhood a little bit bent.

Breathing heavy herself she looked at him and smiled sweetly. “Oh Sweetie I sorry but you are a little funny the way you’re going at me like this. It’s like you’ve never seen a woman in years. I mean I don’t want to fight again but after what you told me this is kind of funny all those beautiful women and now you’re ravishing me like I’m the last woman on earth. So yeah it’s kind of funny.” She told him still smiling.

He just looked at her in shock because she still didn’t get it. “Babe how many times do I have to tell you that I don’t care how you look. It’s what’s inside you that I love about you. And you are just as beautiful as those other women to me. You’re gorgeous and body wise ok you are a little fuller than those strippers but they have to be like that but you don’t and I love your body you ding-a-ling. You are the right size so stop putting yourself down please. Beside those strippers don’t have your breasts they’re all flat chested unlike you Baby. So could you please knock it off. You are a real woman that I love to pieces. And I’m so sorry that I haven’t shown you that but if you just give me half a chance I’ll show you right now.” He said to her anxiously.

“Oh am I stopping you from something?” she asked him as she smiled dirty at him.

“You know you’re killing me right?” he said to her as she was about to burst into laughter.

“I’m sorry I thought that you wanted to talk?” she asked him still smiling.

“You’re not funny and my balls are turning blue as we speak. So either you take off your pants or I’m ripping them off you your choice.” He told her with such a dark blue glare in his eyes that she knew he meant business.

“I will if you will?” she told him as she started to take them off ever so slowly. Jon’s was about to go mad with lack of blood going to both his brains and Ellie never seen him strip so fast in his life. He took her in his arms and showed her just how much he was sorry for what he did and just how much he loved her. He slowed down and loved every inch of her showing her that her body was more than he ever wanted. They fell asleep in each other’s arms for a few hours until Jon woke up so when he noticed it was still early enough he wasn’t going to let their time alone go to waste. So he started to nibble on her shoulder until she started to move around and when she turned in his arms and smiled at him she knew she was in trouble when she felt him poking at her abdomen. But no words were said as Jon just leaned in and started to kiss her tenderly and wrapping his arms around her as he took her to places again that she definitely didn’t mind riding out again. After about an hour had gone by and he fell sound asleep again Ellie was still awake. She was content and happy as she watched him sleep and very happy to have him back in their bed. But the only thing that was still bothering her was that they were fighting very easily lately. But the only good news was the she couldn’t hear the roughness in his voice that much anymore. Maybe those treatments were finally working. She knew before he headed back that she would have to speak to him about the fighting.    

She let Jon sleep for a while longer as she got dressed knowing that Jimmy would be coming home soon and she wanted to thank Jared for everything and get him out of the house before Jon saw him. For some reason he had gotten the wrong idea about him. Jared and Ben had been lifesavers for her since his Mother had been watching Jimmy from the school. Maybe the two of them should confront her before he goes back. She’ll have to take it up with him. She went into the kitchen to make some brownies for both her boys so they would be done before her son got home. In the meantime Jon was tossing and turning when he rolled over and realized that she wasn’t lying next to him. Sitting up and looking around the room he yelled out to her with no answer. Getting up and putting on his pants that were lying on the floor he then went into his dresser and took out a shirt and put that on. Walking downstairs barefoot he could hear something coming from the kitchen. When he entered the door way he saw her trying to load the dish washer.

Walking up behind her and wrapping his arms around her he gave her a start. “Oh God!” she yelped.

Nuzzling her ear, “Sorry Baby but you just looked too cute bent over this. It’s a good thing you aren’t wearing a dress.” He growled into her ear.

Giving her chills, “You are a dirty young man you know that.” She told him.

“Yeah I do. So when is Jimmy coming home?” he asked her.

Looking at her watch, “About another half hour why?” she asked him turning in his arms.

“Well…” he said as he looked at her.

“Are you kidding me? It hasn’t fallen off yet?” she asked him laughing.

“You’re not funny.” He told her as he slapped her ass.

“Stop that! After doing it all morning and mid-day please tell me you’re tired. Because I’m sore Sweetie. Give me a chance for my body to settle ok?” she asked him smiling and shaking her head,

“Babe why didn’t you tell me I was hurting you? I would have stopped.” He told her concern.

“That’s why I didn’t tell you. (he looked at her strangely) Ok let me explain it’s very easy I wanted you as much as you wanted me. And I didn’t get sore until we were almost thru so I could take it. Plus I was having my orgasms during it anyway so there was no way in hell I was going to tell you to stop. The good outweighed the bad you know what I mean? So we’re both at fault here we just couldn’t get enough of each other. But not a half hour before our son is to come home you silly little horny boy.” She told him as she kissed him on the nose.

“Oh ok I get it. I’ve been away for too long that’s all I have to go into my Dad role now.” He said staring into her hazel eyes.

“I like that Dad role.” She said back to him.

“So do I. I can’t wait to see him it’s been too long. Will Jared be here?” he asked trying hard not to look jealous.’’

“Yes he’s bringing Jimmy home from school. You do know there is nothing going on with him and I or Ben for that matter and who ever put that into your head is a moron.” She told.

Smiling weakly, “No nobody did just me I’m the moron. Sorry Ellie. I think it just bothered me that someone else was seeing my family more than I was. So it was easier to blame them than me you know?” he told her as he kissed her lightly on the lips.

“So are you ok with everything now because Jared will be here in less than twenty minutes.” She asked him and not wanting any trouble.

“Cross my heart I won’t start anything ok?” he promised her pouting.

So they waited together for their son to come home to surprise him with his Daddy.