Love Confusing as Hell

Sunday came around and it was typical day in the Anderson household. Quiet and a lazy day. It was getting much colder out now as it was getting into the colder months and Thanksgiving was just around the corner. They all hated to see the pool cover on the pool with the fall leaves just lying on it because that was a sure sign the snow was coming shortly.

“But Mommy I want to go outside and play!” Jimmy yelled.

“Not right now Honey I have a headache. When Uncle Sean or Uncle Chickie gets up ok?” she told him hoping that he could understand her pain. Her father saw that she was having trouble with him so he walked over to them.

“He wants to go outside huh?” he asked her.

“Yeah but I just can’t right now Daddy. My head is going to explode. I just need for my meds to kick in or one of the boys to get up.” She told her Dad.

“Well tell you what Jimmy how about I take you out for a while would you like that?” he asked his grandson.

“That woud be great Grampie. I go get my coat.” He told him and ran to go get it.

“Daddy you don’t have to too really.” She started to say.

“No really I’d love to, me and my boy. You just try and get some sleep while we’re out and I’ll try and tire him out if he doesn’t tire me out first ok.” Paul chuckled.

“Ok Daddy thanks.” She said as she laid her head back down on the couch. Ellie had fallen asleep for a few hours and when she woke up her parents told her that Jimmy was down for the count. When he came back in with Grandpa he played for a little more with his Uncles and then was starting to drift off so Auntie Beth put him down for his nap. Her Mom also told her that Jon had called her too but she didn’t want to wake her and Jon also said not to wake you either but to call him later. She took the phone and dialed the number that Mom had written down. It rang several times before the front desk picked it up. She left a message with them to have him call her when he got in. She went to take her pain meds and there were only a few left so she went to the pharmacy to get some more and within fifteen minutes later Jon called back asking for her. Cecelia told him what she was doing and he told her that he would be in for a while so to call him back.

Jimmy had gotten up now and was looking for his Mom as Ellie walked in. “Mommy! Mommy!” he yelled and ran to her.

“Hey little man what’s up? Did you have a good nap?” she asked him as he nodded his head yes. “Well good. Ok then you go play and I’ll be there in a few minutes…Here Mom I got your milk.” She said as she put the milk in the frig.

“Thanks Honey oh by the way Jon called you back he said he’ll be in for a little while if you want to try him again.” Her Mom told her.

“Thanks.” Ellie went to check on Jimmy and did what she had to do before she sat on the end of the stairs waiting for Jon to pick up the phone. She had brought her pillow with her just in case this was going to be one of those calls that was going to last more than fifteen minutes because that’s all she could do to keep her head up.

Just when she thought the desk was going to pick it up again his whiskey silky voice came over the phone. “Hello?” he said tiredly.

“Hi Jon is that you?” she asked him even thou she knew it was.

“Ellie yeah it’s me sorry my voice does sound like shit. I need to get a better handle on it.” He told her.

“Why don’t you just get a voice coach? Don't they teach you how to take care of your voice?” she asked him concerned.

“Um yeah they do but I’m ok really don’t worry. Look the reason why I’m calling is…” he was trying to say.

“Jon I know the reason why you’re calling it’s because you want an answer to that question and I really don’t have an answer for you.” She told him still anxious.

“I know and it’s ok really because I told our manager and well he had a fit about you and Jimmy coming on tour with us. You didn’t give your notice yet did you?” he asked her holding his breath.

“Well no I haven’t. Huh he doesn’t want us on tour why would we cramp your style or something?” she asked him even thou she was relieved.

“Well yeah something like that. He thinks that having my girlfriend and my out of wedlock son with me on tour would be sending the wrong message so to speak.” He told her trying to be as tactful as possible.

“No no I get it really he doesn’t want your whore of a girlfriend and your bastard son with you no problem Jon. I told you I didn’t want to go anyway. I want to keep Jimmy in a safe and secure place.” She responded angrily.

“Ellie please don’t be like that. You know that I and the guys don’t think like that. He just wants the girls to think I’m available he doesn’t want me to date anybody on a regular basis.” He explained to her.

“Oh how nice so he doesn’t want any of you to a have a life sweet man.” She said to him back. “Look Jon it’s ok I knew you were blowing things way out because you never discussed them with your crew. I mean I wouldn’t want a girlfriend plus a kid touring when it’s just been you guys for how long? Just tell them no hard feelings ok. And just go live your life while I live mine.” She told him and she let him off the hook so he didn’t have to feel bad about doing it for her.

Jon was kind of in shock at what she just said. Did she just break things off with me? “Ellie did you just break things off with me” he asked her confused.

“Jon come on your on the road and I’m home it’s going to be hard enough to keep a relationship going long distance. Plus you have these beautiful girls throwing themselves at you left and right. Are you going to tell me that you’re going to stay true to me? Why don’t we just call it what it is and stay as friends ok?” she told him trying not to cry or get upset on the phone with him.

Jon didn’t know what to do. He felt like she was pushing him away. “Ellie this isn’t what I want. Your reading more into this than you should. You can still come out and visit me on the road and even bring Jimmy from time to time. Look I need your bank account numbers so I can put some money in there for you to live on I owe you that and when you want to come out it will be there to use. And you can still leave your job and just take care of Jimmy and come see me whenever you want.” He told her as he waited for her answer.

“What? You want to pay me to stay home so you can call me at your whim to come to you. I don’t think so Jon.” She told him out right.

“That’s not what I meant. I thought you would want to come and see me. Plus this way you don’t have to get permission from anybody at work to take any time off. You’ll be your own person. I thought you would like that.” He told her hoping she would understand his reasoning.

“I’m sorry Jon it’s just that it sounded like you wanted us not to be there that’s all. Which is fine because I’m not too jazzed to come on tour with you to tell you the truth. I still don’t think it’s appropriate for a five year old boy to be surrounded by a bunch of rockers chasing a bunch of whores. I’m sorry.” She told him truthfully.

“Yeah I guessed that. What about you visiting me are you ok with that?” he asked her hopefully.

“Yeah I can do that if I’m the only one you really want Jon. I’ve been hurt too many times before and I don’t want to be again if this is just for fun with you. I swore to myself the next time I do this would be forever not just for kicks Jon. So I’m going to let you think this over and let me know. If you want me and Jimmy for your future then I’m in. If not then don’t call me back ok? I mean it’s not like your name is on the birth certificate so you are free. Bye.” And she hung up the phone. 

Jon just stared at the phone in his hand for a minute then threw it. WOMEN! He thought. He couldn’t believe she hung up on him. Just then Richie stuck his head in the door. “Hey what’s with all the noise Kidd we can hear it all the down by Dave’s room.” Richie asked him. 

“It’s Ellie she hung up the God damn phone on me.” Jon told him as he animatedly threw his arms around telling him why she didn’t want to come on tour with him and how she got offended when he told her how Doc didn’t want them here either. Richie just watched him go back and forth which was kind of comical to him because he never saw Jon this rattled before especially over a girl.

“Jon slowdown will you. Look you’re asking her to change her whole life at the drop of the hat for what? Nothing. It’s not like your offering her anything right? And she may not be up for that either but hey does she still know that you want to see her as your girlfriend or just as a friend?” he asked Jon.

Jon looked at him then closed his eyes as he sat down on the nearest chair. “God Rich I don’t know. This was thrown on me too you know. One minute I’m just this twenty-three year old kid having the time of my life and now I’m this father I’m somebody’s father Rich. I don’t know if I can do this.” he told his buddy.

Richie looked at him and smiled. “Yeah Jon you can. You can do this because you’re that kind of guy. But you have to ask yourself one thing do you love her? Do you still love her like you did back then?”

Jon looked at Richie and knew in his heart what the answer was. “Yeah Rich I do. I still love her the way I did when I first saw her back in Sayreville.”

“Well then man there’s your answer. Go get her.” Richie said smiling.

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 A few days had gone by and Ellie hadn’t heard anything from Jon which was fine by her. She felt he made himself very clear and she wasn’t going to let him dictate how she was going to live her life. So she went on doing what she normally did and tried to forget him. She had just put Jimmy down and she was crocheting as Sean was watching MTV when they were playing some new bands and all of a sudden they played Runaway. “Hey Ellie oh my God look quick it’s Jon and look what they are wearing.” Sean said as she quickly looked up from what she was doing. She was shocked as she saw the guys in what she could only see as ripped shirts and God only knows what type of pants they were wearing as they were so tight on them it left little to the imagination. She sat there giggling thru the whole song even thou she liked it but the video was just too funny.

“Oh my God Sean were they wearing make-up?” she asked her brother.

“Yeah I think so Sis. And I think he had on black nail polish. And what was with their outfits?” he asked his sister.

“Oh God I have no idea. But the facial expression those were priceless. All I know if I was doing that video that wouldn’t be the theme I would have used. I think they were all high when they agreed to do that. And he wonders why I won’t take Jimmy on tour with him. Bozo.” She said as she went back to her crocheting. Sean laughed and went back doing his homework and listening to the t.v.

Later that evening Chick and Beth had joined them and Alan Hunter was now MC’ing the show and he was now introducing  the new up and coming acts and with their new album and song In and Out of Love came on and this time they were dressed much differently. The hat killed her but the girls didn’t as he ran after them in the video. “Well isn’t nice being a rock star huh Sis?” Chick asked his sister.

“Oh shut up will you!” she told him as she got up and left the den. The other siblings just looked at each other and shrugged as Ellie left. Once upstairs and in her bedroom she looked at her son sleeping and she smiled. Not a day goes by that she doesn’t regret having him. She really thought that Jon would have called her by now but she guessed he made up his mind and chose the easy way out. Well she figured they made it this far together and that they can make it all the way together.

Morning came and she was getting ready to go to work as the others were ready to leave for school. She put Jimmy in with her Mom so they could get a little more sleep and she could get out the door. The day was moving fast in her book and as lunch hit she was in the employee lounge eating when the news came on about a blurb on an impromptu show that was played in New York last night with Bruce Springsteen, Tom Petty, Bon Jovi, and Aldo Nova. The news team caught some of them coming out of the night club so as she was watching she saw Jon arm in arm with this blonde bombshell coming out of the door and kissing her as they were coming out. Ellie nearly choked on her sandwich as she saw this but really couldn’t look away. She hurried with lunch and got back to her department as she finished the day as best she could. Once she got home her Mom told her that Jon had left a message for her to call her when she got home.

“Really? He did well I’ll call him back when I feel like it and I really don’t feel like it right now. Where’s my baby anyway?” she her Mom.

“Oh Chick and Beth took him down the mall they needed to get some things and took Jimmy with them I hope that was ok?” she asked her daughter.

“Yeah that’s fine look I’m going to take advantage of the quiet and go lay down ok?” she told her Mom and went into the den.

Paul came up from the basement, “Ellie home yet?” he asked his wife.

“Yes she went to lie down in the den while it’s quiet.” She said as she went back to getting the dinner ready.

“Well she better do it now before the troops come home.” Paul chuckled.

Everything was going fine after dinner as Paul was getting ready for bed the phone rang and he answered it. “Hello? Oh yes she is just a minute it. ELLIE PHONE!” he yelled to her.

“Who is it Daddy!” she yelled back even thou she had an idea who.

“It’s Jon and come get the phone I’m going to bed.” He told her as he walked off.

Ellie dragged her feet to the phone because she so didn’t want to have this conversation at least not right now. Picking up the phone, “Hello?”

“Hey Baby how’s everything going?” he asked her happily and without knowing what was going on.  

“Everything here’s fine how’s everything with you?” she asked him back.

“Great our album just went platinum so we went out last night to celebrate.” He told her happily.

“Well isn’t that nice.” she said as best she could.

“Hey are you sure your all right you don’t sound that great.” He asked her concerned.

“No I’m just peachy Jon” she told him trying to keep her composure.

“Did I do something wrong? I mean I know I haven’t called in a while but I thought you understood that right?” he asked her worried.

“I’m tired Jon, tired of all the bullshit. Look tell me how did last night go. Did you have fun?”
 she asked him. Jon went on and told her everything that happened with the concert and the guys and how everyone had a great time playing on stage and just had a blast. They also partied afterward at the hotel bar for a while until they got kicked out. Finally she asked him, “So who did you go with?”

“The guys and Bruce and Aldo and Tom they were all there too.” He told her.

“That’s nice Jon but I didn’t mean them I meant of the female persuasion. Who was your date.” She asked him outright.

“Huh? I didn’t have a date Babe I went solo. Why would you think I had a date when I’m seeing you? I thought we went over this.” he said to her a little confused.

“No we did go over this that’s why I’m asking you this. So you didn’t go with anyone so you say didn’t cling to or hang on to or kiss anyone in public last night?” she asked him again.

Thinking before he answered her now he was with Lita Ford and hanging with her and he was all over her last night but he didn’t think anyone caught it on tape. He does remember having a make out session with her inside but there were no camera’s allowed so how could she have found out. Finally he just thought he’d take the hit and ask her about it. “Ellie I was drinking a lot last night so I really don’t remember a lot that I was doing. You want to help me out here.” He asked her and held his breath.

“Oh sure I’d be glad to. You were coming out of the club with this blonde bombshell and she was hanging off you and you both were glued to each other by the lips. So I hope you two enjoyed each other because you’re not going to get it from me again.” She told him in a very cold tone.

“Wait Ellie please it was just for show really it didn’t mean anything.” he yelled into the phone.  

“Oh yeah right that didn’t look like it didn’t mean something Jon what do you think I’m stupid. Look you want your cake and eat it too well I got news for you pal no freaking way. You really changed Jon from that boy I met to this rock star I’m sorry I can’t be with this person Jon who lies to me.” She told him sadly.

“But Ellie please at least give me a chance we haven’t had a chance to even try this. We weren’t dating right now so technically I wasn’t doing anything wrong Ellie. But as soon as you give me the word I will be the perfect boyfriend I promise.” He told her hoping she would come around.

Thinking she asked him this, “Who was the girl Jon?”

Sighing he said, “It was Lita Ford.”

“Of Vixen?” she asked him.

“Yeah you’ve heard of her?” he asked thou he was surprised that she did.

“Yeah news does travel here in the backwoods. Jon I am up on most of the latest music so don’t be so surprised. And I guess you’re right I haven ‘t really given you a fair shake have I?” she asked him.

“No you haven’t I mean talk about me earning brownie points on just to get you to go out with me it’s like pulling teeth. Look Babe I’m not going to say it’s going to be easy but if we love each other then we can do this I know we can. And I’m not going to tell you it will be easy but I’ll do my damnedest to stay loyal to you. So now do me a favor and schedule yourself off for a three or four day weekends will you and come see me you can do that right?” he asked her hoping.

“Well I’ll have to know your schedule first so I can schedule myself off. Can you give me an advance look at it?” she asked him.

“Well I guess I could if you’re a good little girl that is?” he told her in a deep whiskey voice that sent chills thru her.

“Oh really I have to be a good little girl well what about you pal? Besides I thought you liked bad girls?” she asked him sighing.   

“Well I thought I’d be the bad boy that turns the good girl bad.” He told her chuckling.

“Well I think you already did that. Just mail me your list so I can get everything straight ok and I’ll do what I can. So what, we start now. I can say you’re my boyfriend.” She asked him smiling.

“Sure in fact you can tell those whatever you call them down at that store of yours that you are taken got it! Your mine and nobody else’s.” he told her getting very territorial.

“Oh oh oh now that were dating do you want me to wear something that says I’m Jon Bon Jovi’s woman?” she asked him sarcastically?

“Oh very funny could you?” he shot back.

“Hey don’t get your panties in a twist Babe ok I’m only joking with you. Believe me though when I tell you that I will be telling a few people there that I am seeing the most handsomest man there is and he just happens to be the father of my son. I can say that can’t I?” she asked him not sure if she could.

“I don’t see why not. I am. Hey Babe there’s someone at my door so I have to go I love you and I’ll get that out to you soon. Give Jimmy kisses for me.” He told her.

“I will and I love you too. Talk to you later Jon Bye.” She hung up the phone and for the first time in a long time she felt like her heart was doing flip flops. She just hoped this wasn’t going to bite her in the ass.
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    Jon hung up and was smiling from ear to ear. He finally felt everything was coming together.  He went to answer the door. It was Richie. “Hey Kidd what’s up?” he asked his brother in arms.

“Rich I think finally everything may be coming together. Ellie agreed to be my girlfriend and trust me enough to be with me. You don’t know what that means to me man. I finally have her back. I have my family.” Jon told Richie as Richie walked up to him and gave Jon a hug.

“God Jon that’s great. God you’re a Dad man. That’s awesome. Well we need to celebrate let’s get the rest of the guys and have a few and toast the new Dad what do you say?” Richie asked him as he picked up the phone and called the rest of the guys.